article -1 -1 0 2010-02-08T21:13:59-05:00 Playerpress No 63 7361 <p>by Patterson Belser<br /> <a target="_blank" href="mailto:pattersonbelser@gmail.com">E-mail</a><br /> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.twitter.com/cpbelser">Twitter</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>We are officially one week out from the Daytona 500. It is an exciting time of the year, for those of us that love this sport (and a big apology to those of you that live with people like us that watch every race of the season). I figure that now is as good a time as any to take a long, hard look at some of the drivers for the 2010 season, and give me a chance to offer some well thought out opinions on some of them. Or, I can do what I always do, and make snap judgments that are based in half-truths. This way, I can explain which guys are my favorites and least-favorite drivers for the 2010 season, and the reasons (sometimes completely insane) why I think this way. <br /> <br /> Recently, I focused on my Top 6 favorites for the upcoming NASCAR season. While I am sure each of you felt as if you had been showered upon with my positivity, upon reading today, I want each of you to bask in the gloriousness of my mighty negative attitude. BASK IN IT! Today, I will turn all of my attention and focus onto some of my least favorite guys out there for the 2010 season. Oh, and it will be a blast to take a look in this direction. While yesterday, I put in a caveat relating to my favorites, and saying that this was not meant to pick the 2010 champion, I will not need that disclaimer today...mostly because these guys stink. Well, most of them stink, while one has a great chance to make a run for a championship, but I will be enraged if this does happen.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> My Bottom 5 List of People That I Think Stink (in no particular order):<br /> <strong><br /> - Robby Gordon -</strong></p> <p>Alright, so let me see if I fully grasp this concept. If you give Robby Gordon a baja&rsquo;ed out truck and send him to the middle of nowhere to race other psychopaths in baja&rsquo;ed out trucks, then he will beat their brains out with a tire iron. But, if you take the same Robby Gordon and put him in stock car, and let him run on asphalt tracks in suburbs across this great nation, then all he can do is wreck other people and blow up cars? He basically has the NASCAR mental faculties of a pre-teen boy with a predilection for pyromania. Wreck it, burn it. Wreck it, burn it. (insert maniacal laughter quite like a mad scientist) Yes, these are apparently the things that make Robby happy&hellip;at least in NASCAR.<br /> <br /> <strong>- Casey Mears -</strong></p> <p>One time, many years ago, when Casey Mears was but a wee lad, a<br /> magical thing happened one night. Mears was awakened from his slumber<br /> in his race car bed by a fairy! Oh, and a beautiful fairy she was.<br /> Mears was befuddled by the whole incident, but was intrigued as the<br /> fairy spoke. She said:<br /> <br /> <em>Casey, you are a very special boy. When you grow up, you are destined<br /> to race in NASCAR's top series. It is true. You will race among the<br /> greats in the business, and it will be a thrilling experience. But<br /> please know, that while championships will be won, you are not to be a<br /> winner. It is true, Casey. You are destined for mediocrity.</em><br /> <br /> And just like that, the fairy vanished and Mears' life plan was set in motion. He now lavishes in the luxury of the middle of the pack.<br /> <br /> <strong>- Denny Hamlin -</strong></p> <p>Disdain is one word that I would use to describe my feelings on Denny Hamlin. I<br /> really, <em>really</em> dislike this guy. He may be the most fantastic guy who ever<br /> lived. He might be a blast to hang out with. But while I may find it<br /> entertaining to sit down and have a beer with a guy, does not mean<br /> that I like him in a professional manner. Take George W. Bush for<br /> example. I am sure he was fun to hang with, but man did I hate the way<br /> he handled his job. And so, it shall continue for me, this disdain<br /> that I feel towards Hamlin. Is he talented? Totally. Could he win a<br /> championship? Possibly. Does it make me feel all punchy every time I<br /> hear him complain about anyone and everyone in NASCAR? Oh, god yes.<br /> <br /> <strong>- Jamie McMurray -</strong></p> <p>Remember, just a few seconds back when I was talking about how much I<br /> disliked Denny Hamlin? Well, in comparison to Jamie McMurray, Hamlin<br /> is one of my favorites. Seriously, what can I say about him that I<br /> haven't already said? I will start by saying that while Danica Patrick<br /> signed the deal that brings her to NASCAR, McMurray is still the<br /> prettiest lady in the sport. Really, just focusing on McMurray for<br /> this long after just having spent some time on Denny is starting to<br /> really anger me. I think it might be in the best interest of my mental<br /> health to move on now. McMurray...McYuck.<br /> <br /> <strong>- Paul Menard -</strong></p> <p>I have known people throughout my life that never really had to work that hard due to the fact that their daddy owned a business. This made it so that it did not matter what kind of grades one made, or how hard one worked, because he or she could just go back and work for daddy. I was never afforded this option (damn you, small town solo law practice), so I get a bit frustrated when sorry sacks have this presented to them. So is Paul Menard. In a time when finding sponsorships to run in NASCAR is at an all-time level of difficulty, Menard is allowed to continue to wreck everyone all over the circuit because his daddy can afford to keep buying new cars&hellip;and slapping his company&rsquo;s name along the side of each one. This ensures that Menard really never has to do much of much, other than to grow the spindliest shitbox love patch (that little bit of hair he grows under his bottom lip) anyone has ever seen. Oh, what a douche.<br /> <br /> <br /> There are so many people that could fill this list, but I am going to leave it at that. It is a long season, and I will not waste all of my material this early in the season.</p> 67.186.96.175 2010-02-08T21:13:59-05:00 my-bottom-5-guys-that-i-think-stink-for-2010 No Yes 67.186.96.175, 66.249.67.142, 123.125.66.95, 123.125.66.58, 66.249.68.204, 174.37.205.76, 38.99.97.126, 67.195.37.188, 72.44.61.86, 204.236.198.91, 216.24.142.46, 216.24.142.47, 216.24.142.45, 67.202.5.6, 89.151.84.35, 208.74.66.42, 72.13.91.40, 75.101.197.164, 85.114.136.243, 71.86.211.48, 67.195.112.114, 174.133.61.66, 74.125.75.3, 142.166.3.122, 70.189.239.161, 71.102.11.133, 75.101.176.194, 173.29.215.5, 83.149.199.55, 174.129.151.29, 76.97.188.228, 75.101.195.195, 70.37.70.230, 211.43.152.54, 89.151.116.59, 208.74.66.62, 65.52.22.222, 75.101.205.207, 174.129.89.199, 75.101.232.27, 174.129.107.161, 207.200.116.130, 76.121.108.54, 98.199.0.18, 68.205.128.40, 98.144.28.119, 173.60.204.22, 89.151.116.54, 174.129.90.99, 174.129.139.3, 72.44.54.68, 174.129.176.154, 128.241.112.231, 208.54.94.85, 64.13.147.187, 75.101.170.136, 75.101.232.231, 216.129.119.81, 174.129.176.172, 67.202.10.201, 67.202.4.142, 174.129.101.87 Bottom 5 List Of Guys That I Think Stink For 2010 3 No Patterson Belser, NASCAR, Robby Gordon, Casey Mears, Denny Hamlin, Jamie McMurray, Paul Menard -1 My Bottom 5 Guys That I Think Stink For 2010 31 writer
article -1 -1 0 2010-02-08T20:41:00-05:00 Playerpress No 61 7360 <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>by Patterson Belser<br /> <a target="_blank" href="mailto:pattersonbelser@gmail.com">E-mail</a><br /> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.twitter.com/cpbelser">Twitter</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>We are officially one week out from the Daytona 500. It is an exciting time of the year, for those of us that love this sport (and a big apology to those of you that live with people like us that watch every race of the season). I figure that now is as good a time as any to take a long, hard look at some of the drivers for the 2010 season, and give me a chance to offer some well thought out opinions on some of them. Or, I can do what I always do, and make snap judgments that are based in half-truths. This way, I can explain which guys are my favorites and least-favorite drivers for the 2010 season, and the reasons (sometimes completely insane) why I think this way. <br /> <br /> Today, I am going to look at my Top 6 favorites for the 2010 season, and later, I will focus all of my negative energy upon my Least Favorites for the upcoming season. But for today&rsquo;s list of favorites, please do no misconstrue what I mean by &ldquo;favorites&rdquo;. My list is not meant to necessarily say that any of these guys is going to win a championship (with the exception of Mark Martin&hellip;go win a freaking championship already, old man). In fact, most of these are guys that I like that I want to see make some improvements this season, or at least, win a race. So here we go with today&rsquo;s favorites.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> My Top 6 List of Favorites (in no particular order):<br /> <strong><br /> -&nbsp; Mark Martin&nbsp; -</strong><br /> <br /> I am going to officially go on record as saying, that if at least a small part of you is not pulling for Mark Martin, then I question your sanity and your humanity. Mark is a killer. He is the size of a Hobbit, but with the tenacity of sharks that have just been stung by a gang of angry, drunken hornets. He is ornery, folks, and I really want to see him pull out the big wins this season, leading up to, at least, a real chance at the championship. Who would not want to see this guy making a big run at it this year? Seriously, who? Speak up now, and I will explain to you that not only are you wrong, but you also more of a jerk than a Jamaican chicken (hiyo!). Frankly, I want to see him standing next to the Cup at the end of the season, so we can see which is taller. My money is on the trophy.<br /> &nbsp;</p> <p><strong>- Juan Pablo Montoya -</strong><br /> <br /> Juan came on strong last season. A few years back, I read a string of interviews with him, and I have been a fan ever since. Luckily, ever since then, he has gotten better and better at actual racing, and really is showing that he is a quality contender. Though, I think he may have gotten less funny. Though, he did handle what was dubbed as &ldquo;TacoGate&rdquo; this past year in a fairly humorous fashion. But, he also handled it in a very professional fashion. Hmmmm. Well, Mr. Montoya, I am saying this now, and getting it out there: You are on notice, sir. This season, I want to see some hijinks or even, dare I say, some shenanigans. Get some new material out there for us, and try to get an oval win or three. <br /> <br /> <strong><br /> - Dale Earnhardt, Jr. -</strong><br /> <br /> Maybe I am a glutton for punishment. I mean, I keep standing by this guy, even though he really has been completely sucking at everything possible lately having a rough time with it recently. This is what it must feel like to be a Mets fan. You cheer and you cheer, and your team just can not put themselves into position for the big win. But, I am still sticking with him. I have to be hopeful about something, right? Then I pick this. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment, or maybe I am just a dummy. I think either would be applicable. Please, Dale, do not make me look like more of an ass than I already do for doing this to myself.<br /> <br /> <strong><br /> - Martin Truex, Jr. -</strong><br /> <br /> I can not exactly figure out why, but I have always liked Martin Truex, Jr. Seriously, I have no clue why I would. The guy has a goatee, which is pretty lame (unless you are playing a character named Dante, and you are starring in an early 90&rsquo;s movie called Clerks. Wait a minute, that guy was lame, too!). Truex also hails from New Jersey, which is never something that you want to go around telling people. But even with all of this stacked against him, he has a new team and possibly some equipment that will work for him. Plus, he looks like the kind of guy who would bite somebody in a fight. I like that.<br /> <br /> <strong><br /> - Brad Keselowski -</strong><br /> <br /> OK, so there is a slight-to-distinct possibility that Keselowski is on this list due to the fact that he took some shots at Denny Hamlin. Please remember, that those aforementioned shots means that Keselowski used his 2 ton automobile to slam into another 2 ton automobile, all while moving at high rates of speed. Whenever he and Hamlin would start bumping, it always proved to be entertaining. So, yeah, not only is he a big up-and-comer, he also already has both a win and a rivalry, and he is just now starting his true rookie season. That is certainly not a bad way to come into a new job.<br /> <br /> <br /> <strong>- Tony Stewart -</strong><br /> <br /> Tony used to be much more of a surly gentleman, but he seems to be<br /> cooling off as he gets older. The problem is that none of us want to see a<br /> mellow Tony. We want the crazy guy that looked as if he would put a<br /> thumb in your eye if you looked at him wrong. But, even with this<br /> large shortcoming (and I do view this as a big negative about Tony),<br /> he looks like he will be a big contender this year. Coming off his<br /> first year as a driver/owner, and showing all of us that not only can<br /> you own and drive simultaneously, but you can do both very<br /> successfully, 2010 seems like a fine time for Tony to go out and grab<br /> another championship. And, if you figure out that a 2010 championship<br /> is out of your reach, will you please punch a punk (I'm looking for<br /> victims, here) in the mouth?</p> 67.186.96.175 2010-02-08T20:41:00-05:00 my-top-6-picks-for-2010 No Yes 67.186.96.175, 66.249.67.142, 186.137.25.72, 66.249.68.204, 123.125.66.88, 174.37.205.85, 67.195.112.114, 38.99.97.126, 216.24.142.45, 67.202.63.158, 216.24.142.47, 65.52.22.222, 38.113.234.180, 70.37.70.228, 89.151.116.59, 208.74.66.62, 72.44.49.134, 85.114.136.243, 75.101.197.164, 75.101.205.207, 174.133.61.66, 74.208.125.5, 216.129.119.81, 71.86.211.48, 174.129.155.45, 216.24.142.46, 204.236.198.91, 89.151.116.54, 72.13.91.40, 208.74.66.42, 208.92.234.97, 70.37.70.230, 74.125.75.3, 70.189.239.161, 75.101.254.111, 142.166.3.122, 71.102.11.133, 75.101.218.170, 173.29.215.5, 75.101.176.194, 83.149.199.55, 174.129.151.29, 76.97.188.228, 65.52.22.215, 208.74.66.61, 174.129.104.29, 174.129.139.3, 67.195.37.188, 174.129.90.99, 75.101.195.195, 72.44.54.68, 174.129.141.199, 75.101.227.15, 128.241.112.231, 64.13.147.187, 174.129.89.199, 67.202.56.119, 75.101.170.136, 67.202.4.142, 173.60.204.22, 83.149.199.54 My Top 6 Picks For 2010 3 No NASCAR, Patterson Belser, Tony Stewart, Dale Earnhardt, Keselowski, Martin Truex, Juan Pablo Montoya, Mark Martin -1 My Top 6 Picks For 2010 31 writer
article -1 12 0 2010-02-05T17:48:00-05:00 Playerpress No 50 7301 <p>The Super Bowl isn't the only media hot spot in Florida this week and while it is a spectacle its another story from the sunshine state that's turning some heads. The 27 year old Danica Patrick is making her stock car debut in the ARCA series on Saturday at the Daytona Motor speedway. Rumor has it if that race goes well and Patrick feels comfortable she will run in the Nascar Nationwide series race at the sports most famous track. If she opts to hold off her Nascar debut fans won't have to wait long as she is scheduled to run in Fontana, California for the series second race. Win or lose Danica's fans and all the publicity covering her are definitely bringing more exposure to the sport.</p> 24.44.18.233 2010-02-05T17:48:00-05:00 danica-s-debut No Yes 123.125.66.125, 66.249.68.204, 67.195.37.188, 174.36.241.155, 206.123.171.32, 76.97.188.228, 67.202.11.49, 85.114.136.243, 216.24.142.47, 216.24.142.46, 65.52.22.222, 204.236.198.91, 70.37.70.228, 67.202.5.6, 72.13.91.40, 174.129.186.60, 174.129.89.199, 208.74.66.61, 208.74.66.36, 75.101.197.164, 66.249.67.142, 83.149.199.55, 174.129.90.99, 208.80.193.64, 142.166.170.101, 75.101.139.240, 75.101.176.194, 75.101.195.195, 174.129.67.212, 174.129.171.1, 72.44.38.12, 174.129.139.3, 89.151.116.54, 38.99.97.126, 67.195.112.114, 216.129.119.11, 75.101.177.23, 206.53.147.109, 79.99.6.106, 174.133.61.66, 97.118.166.204, 97.96.112.77, 66.249.67.107, 204.11.238.145, 142.166.170.50, 108.0.43.174, 142.166.170.104, 87.250.252.241, 69.160.245.108, 63.215.202.234 Danica's Debut 3 No Danica Patrick, Nascar, f1, indy -1 Danica's Debut 1111 writer
article -1 -1 0 2010-01-27T00:22:00-05:00 Playerpress No 102 7143 <p><img width="371" height="371" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/Bowie Changes.jpg" /></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><br /> <a href="mailto:pattersonbelser@gmail.com" target="_blank">E-mail</a><br /> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/cpbelser" target="_blank">Twitter</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>My life, as I knew it, is over. I have been reborn. I promise you, it is true. I used to be but a boy, but now, after a drastic change in my daily routine, I am all that is man. Maybe you are wondering what could have made such a change to everything that is me. Maybe, just maybe, you are thinking that you could do with a big time life changing event. I like to think that you are all thinking that. Possibly, it is because I want the absolute best for each and every one of you. But, it is probably just the fact that I am self-absorbed, and I hope that I have influenced your way of thinking. Speaking of me&hellip;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>I purchased a product the other day that has made me question my past purchasing habits. What was I doing with my time and money? I am such a fool. That is right, ladies and gentlemen. I present to you, my new deodorant!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="262" height="350" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/IMG_2747.JPG" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> <br /> I really do feel like a new man. My pits stink of burned rubber and testosterone. <br /> <br /> So, we are in the drug store the other day, minding our own business. I needed to pick up a few unmentionables (ok, maybe not unmentionable, as I really only purchased deodorant and vodka&hellip;not to be used together, kids&hellip;or by kids&hellip;unless you want to be popular). Anyway, while shopping for deodorant, my girlfriend, Mindy, points to the Old Spice NASCAR deodorants. <br /> <br /> Please, at this point, keep this in mind. Here is a quick third-person perspective on how this exactly went down.<br /> <br /> From the perspective of Mindy (who is not a NASCAR fan in the least): She is walking through the aisles of the local CVS, and follows me (Patterson, that is me) to the deodorant section. As I am looking at my normal brand of product, Mindy spies a deodorant with a NASCAR logo of some sort. She sees it, giggles to herself, turns to her boyfriend (again, me, Patterson) and states that I really should purchase this product. Of course, she is being completely facetious by saying that I should buy NASCAR deodorant. <br /> <br /> From the perspective of Patterson: So, I am there in the store, looking at my usual brand, minding my own business. Suddenly, Mindy points out that there are not only one, but four different kinds of NASCAR Old Spice deodorant. I, of course, am ecstatic (well, not really, but I did find this somewhat intriguing). It was at this point that I reach for this product, while I notice that Mindy is smirking. I made sure that it did not actually smell like Old Spice (seriously, does everyone remember what their grandpa smelled like), and I made my purchase.<br /> <br /> Hell, it was only $4. It was not like I was buying <a href="http://www.crunchgear.com/2010/01/14/office-depot-somehow-gets-exclusive-rights-to-sell-230-nascar-chair/">this piece of crap</a>.<br /> <br /> And I put it to each of you, that my life is forever changed. It is like the pit crews are working my pits, all day and all night&hellip;until I take a shower. But, then I just reapply and do it all over again! Thank you, NASCAR deodorant products!</p> 76.97.188.228 2010-01-27T00:22:00-05:00 how-nascar-finally-changed-my-life No Yes 67.186.96.175, 66.249.67.229, 174.129.157.195, 216.24.142.46, 70.37.70.230, 65.52.22.215, 204.236.198.91, 72.44.43.230, 174.129.142.69, 72.13.91.40, 208.74.66.62, 208.92.234.97, 174.143.213.49, 123.125.66.82, 67.218.99.195, 76.97.188.228, 174.129.155.45, 211.43.152.49, 85.114.136.243, 211.43.152.51, 89.151.116.52, 70.37.70.228, 216.24.142.47, 208.74.66.42, 65.52.22.222, 75.101.197.164, 174.37.205.85, 174.129.69.182, 66.249.68.245, 64.13.147.187, 38.99.68.204, 75.101.205.207, 75.101.170.136, 67.202.56.119, 75.101.232.231, 166.90.142.9, 174.129.107.161, 174.133.61.66, 89.151.116.54, 75.101.190.114, 174.123.159.36, 75.101.232.27, 216.129.119.81, 141.52.175.84, 89.151.84.35, 79.125.48.47, 216.121.78.19, 75.66.203.240, 67.202.10.201, 207.200.116.10, 83.149.199.55, 204.236.236.41, 173.60.204.22, 128.241.112.231, 83.149.199.54, 79.99.6.106, 67.195.114.42, 63.215.202.234, 72.44.61.18, 38.99.97.126, 72.44.54.68, 142.166.3.122, 67.195.111.172, 64.118.87.55, 66.36.240.75, 72.44.48.172, 174.129.29.13, 174.129.101.87, 97.74.24.139, 89.151.116.51, 67.202.30.126, 142.166.170.103, 38.99.97.10, 64.184.179.77, 66.249.68.137, 66.249.67.218, 81.94.205.98, 67.218.116.131, 98.195.80.209, 76.102.117.173, 64.184.179.74, 71.125.240.153, 66.249.68.149, 142.166.170.100, 66.249.67.142, 66.249.68.204, 71.198.149.185, 66.249.65.114, 216.129.119.11, 12.17.73.227, 87.250.252.241, 67.195.112.85, 64.74.243.101, 83.167.62.168, 75.38.121.130, 67.195.37.188, 203.131.250.162, 142.166.170.104, 65.55.51.42, 207.190.98.188, 66.249.68.163 NASCAR Finally Change My Life 3 No Patterson Belser, Bowie, NASCAR, Mindy -1 How NASCAR Finally Changed My Life 31 writer
article -1 -1 0 2010-01-16T18:45:00-05:00 Playerpress Yes 122 7032 <p><img width="400" height="335" src="/uploads/Image/2009-05-01 LATFH BEANS.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>&nbsp;What do we have here? A brand new year, eh? Hmmmm, how the time, it does fly. I feel like since we have a brand new year, we need a brand new picture up top. Hopefully each of you noticed.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>Yes, it is official. I have emerged from my cave and am slowly getting back to living. You know, the off-season is a rough time to try and write about any sport. While NASCAR&rsquo;s off-season is very short, and we do have what is referred to as the &ldquo;Silly Season&rdquo;, I did not find much of it that silly. <br /> <br /> Meanwhile, we made it through a Christmas in Alabama, a New Years in Chicago and life finds us quite busy these days&hellip;which is great. This time last year, I had already freaked out a few times about the coldness and boringness of life. No such luck this year! But, as I am making it through my day a day or two ago, I was sucked right back into NASCAR. It was almost like my RSS feeds (not even the NASCAR related ones) were trying to get my attention and say, &ldquo;Hey jackass, get back to your column, you neglectful jerk!&rdquo; So, I am back and getting geared up for a new season.<br /> <br /> In my mind (and in my own self-indulgence), the only way I can think of to get back into this is with a little column that I have worked on perfecting over the last year. Something that delivers each of you the best of the worst of the best of the world of NASCAR. Oh, and I get to throw my own little twist on everything. Yes, let me welcome the new year, a new season and a new beginning here at Playerpress with the Saturdiversions!<br /> <br /> I have been racking my brain as to what I would like the leadoff story to be here. Should I go with some of the more &ldquo;big news&rdquo; that has happened over the off-season? Or should I go with something completely off the beaten path to get the juices flowing? Well, I went for something <a href="http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=8710">slap in the middle of these two things</a>. This is also one of the stories my RSS Reader fed to me the other day that snapped me out of my non-writing coma. For those of you that do no read this site (and for some of you that may, one day, be on this site), please everyone, go out of your way to check in with <a href="http://www.peopleofwalmart.com">People of Wal-Mart</a>. Sometimes, you get to see something completely crazy, such as our old King getting his bargain hunting on at Wal-Mart. And sometimes, you get to see Willie the Pimp.<br /> <br /> Now that we have that out of the way, I am feeling a bit better. Good stuff, kids. Let us move on, shall we?<br /> <br /> Last month, Jimmie Johnson won the <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/nascar/cup/news/story?id=4761210&amp;campaign=rss&amp;source=RPMHeadlines">AP&rsquo;s Top Male Athlete of 2009</a>. Again, moving on.<br /> <br /> Here is somewhat of a bummer for me. I really wanted to take the train up to Milwaukee this coming summer and check out the Saturday night Nationwide race at the Milwaukee Mile. I was already beginning my planning to make this happen. But then, <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=ap-nascar-roadamerica&amp;prov=ap&amp;type=lgns">disaster struck</a>. No race at the Mile this summer?!? Rats.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="300" height="225" src="/uploads/Image/CharlieBrown.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> There was a decent article about the <a href="http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-2149-Atlanta-NASCAR-Examiner~y2009m12d28-Top-five-most-significant-moments-of-the-decade-in-NASCAR">Top 5 Most Significant Moments in the Decade in NASCAR</a>. I say decent, and with good damn reason. They got Jimmie Johnson&rsquo;s Four-peat in there, and the death of Dale Earnhardt. But, for some reason that I simply can not fathom, they completely left out what is, in my mind, an easy pick for a top 5 story. Am I the ONLY person out here who remembers that fantastic season that Joe Nemechek had in 2006, when he finished 27th in the standings? I mean, seriously, how could this get left out?!<br /> <br /> I have read some articles over the past couple of weeks about the new changes to the Bud Shootout for this year. Basically, as best as I can tell, the only big change is the fact that this year&rsquo;s event <a href="http://www.speedwaymedia.com/articles/Story.asp?S=4300107100124">will feature some octogenarians</a>? 80 year olds, dude.<br /> &nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="270" height="300" src="/uploads/Image/WalterLebowski.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> The good folks over at <a href="http://www.speedwaymedia.com">Speedway Media</a> put together a solid list of the big stories in the NASCAR world <a href="http://www.speedwaymedia.com/articles/Story.asp?S=4900102100128">coming up for 2010</a>. Meanwhile, Jay Busbee at <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles">From the Marbles</a> put together a list, complete with odds, for the possible <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Who-s-going-to-be-2010-s-breakout-star-?urn=nascar,211616">breakout driver for the 2010 season</a>. There, that saves me a lot of time. Thanks guys, because I do not have to cover all of that right now.<br /> <br /> Speaking of Mr. Busbee, I went ahead and sent him <a href="http://www.crunchgear.com/2010/01/14/office-depot-somehow-gets-exclusive-rights-to-sell-230-nascar-chair/">this link</a>, which will direct you to a $230 office chair that is decked out full Tony Stewart-style. Jay, if you are out there, this has &ldquo;They Make it Cause We Buy It&rdquo; slathered all over it. The chair is awful enough (it really is like a dopey Capt. Kirk chair knockoff, but with a big 14 on it), but as life works within the wonderous world of the internets, the comments turn into the entertaining portion of the article (complete with a Dick Trickle joke). Below, you will find my absolute favorite. I seriously can not stop laughing.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="411" height="138" src="/uploads/Image/MatComment.JPG" alt="" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> If you kids are not regularly checking over at <a href="http://www.allleftturns.com">All Left Turns</a>, then you are missing out on the manhunt of the century. The folks there are trying to search for the gentleman in one of the <a href="http://www.allleftturns.com/who-is-shaved-back-nascar-guy">more well-circulated NASCAR pictures</a>. I can not be the only one out there who has had friends email this picture to him to poke fun at the guy who likes NASCAR. I hate my friends.<br /> <br /> UPDATE: Yes, you read that word correctly. <a href="http://www.allleftturns.com/shaved-back-nascar-guy-update">There has been an UPDATE</a>. They are fast on the case. This is better than an episode of SVU, hopefully with a similar outcome&hellip;and cause.<br /> <br /> Is this how <a href="http://failblog.org/2010/01/14/wording-fail/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+failblog+(The+FAIL+Blog+-+Fail+Pictures+%26+Videos+at+Failblog.ORG)">NASCAR drug tests work</a>?<br /> <br /> How <a href="http://failblog.org/2010/01/13/fedex-fail/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+failblog+(The+FAIL+Blog+-+Fail+Pictures+%26+Videos+at+Failblog.ORG)">Denny Hamlin spends his off-season</a>.<br /> <br /> First question: Who the hell <a href="http://gizmodo.com/5448198/paris-gets-cest-chic-with-worlds-largest-disco-ball?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+gizmodo%2Ffull+(Gizmodo)">paid for this</a>?</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="300" height="221" src="/uploads/Image/ParisDiscoBall.JPG" alt="" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> Second question: How big is 7.5 meters?<br /> Third question: How do we get this transported from Paris to the Talladega infield?<br /> <br /> Well guys, that is going to wrap up the first communication from me in the New Year. 2010 is looking promising on multiple fronts, and new decades are alright by me. But, before I go, who am I to dump on old traditions. I shall give the last word to my pals over at LOLNASCAR.<br /> <br /> <a href="http://lolnascar.wordpress.com/2010/01/13/in-the-immortal-words/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Lolnascar+(LOLnascar)&amp;utm_content=Google+Reader">This one</a> is funny because it is true. And <a href="http://lolnascar.wordpress.com/2010/01/10/is-that-kyle/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Lolnascar+(LOLnascar)&amp;utm_content=Google+Reader">this one</a> is funny because it could be true.</p> 76.97.188.228 2010-01-16T18:45:00-05:00 saturdiversions-for-the-first-time-in-2010 No Yes 67.186.96.175, 66.249.67.162, 174.129.95.55, 85.114.136.243, 211.43.152.49, 216.24.142.47, 65.52.18.116, 70.37.70.228, 174.129.142.69, 174.129.141.109, 89.151.116.59, 142.166.3.122, 72.13.91.40, 75.101.197.164, 208.74.66.38, 208.74.66.61, 75.101.232.231, 123.125.66.79, 67.174.15.116, 174.37.205.87, 66.153.138.83, 174.129.157.222, 67.195.114.243, 69.248.176.108, 66.249.68.137, 67.202.10.201, 83.149.199.54, 72.44.48.172, 67.195.111.172, 174.129.58.57, 76.97.188.228, 64.13.147.189, 89.151.116.52, 65.52.19.122, 70.37.70.230, 216.24.142.46, 216.24.142.45, 75.101.170.136, 208.74.66.42, 174.133.61.66, 67.218.99.195, 216.129.119.81, 83.149.199.55, 38.99.97.126, 174.129.90.99, 207.179.181.130, 64.13.147.187, 89.151.116.54, 75.101.232.27, 67.202.56.119, 174.129.89.199, 174.129.143.246, 174.129.107.161, 24.13.220.88, 67.205.89.211, 98.228.180.124, 98.148.174.124, 94.23.51.159, 64.233.172.6, 174.59.160.141, 216.121.78.19, 71.102.28.120, 64.184.179.75, 98.160.188.89, 75.101.213.80, 68.171.233.154, 98.234.73.198, 128.241.112.231, 142.166.170.101, 66.135.56.32, 209.249.53.79, 66.172.20.57, 174.129.48.204, 79.99.6.106, 75.101.219.151, 66.249.68.228, 76.217.38.229, 38.98.19.111, 67.202.39.9, 61.247.222.83, 87.250.252.241, 68.58.71.192, 216.129.119.11, 142.166.170.100, 67.195.114.42, 128.32.153.195, 173.48.60.40, 88.191.89.58, 69.212.159.67, 67.218.116.131, 67.247.218.76, 66.249.68.248, 174.127.132.158, 66.249.67.47, 174.127.132.64, 66.249.68.245, 142.166.170.103, 74.111.163.104, 66.249.67.229, 38.99.97.10, 71.226.226.129, 81.94.205.98, 66.219.58.34, 66.249.68.149, 142.166.170.102, 66.235.124.55, 66.249.68.204, 68.109.121.164, 68.162.117.176, 67.195.112.85, 202.131.30.148, 64.74.243.101, 67.195.37.188, 203.131.250.162, 213.131.235.86, 123.125.66.131, 123.125.66.119, 67.195.112.114, 123.125.66.92, 66.249.67.142, 70.5.30.213 Saturdiversions For The First Time In 2010 3 No Patterson Belser, NASCAR, diversions, Jimmie Johnson, new year, Denny Hamlin, Lebowski, -1 Saturdiversions For The First Time In 2010 31 writer
article -1 -1 0 2009-12-01T00:35:00-05:00 Playerpress Yes 129 6293 <p><img width="400" height="267" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/DiversionSign.jpg" /></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>by Patterson Belser<br /> <a href="mailto:pattersonbelser@gmail.com" target="_blank">E-mail</a><br /> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/cpbelser" target="_blank">Twitter</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>This truly is one of the oddest times of the year. We are fresh off the heels of Thanksgiving, and the thing that I am most thankful for is that we do not have a fridge full of leftovers. Next up, we have Hanukkah (or Chanukah or however you want to spell it, as I do not think there is an incorrect way to do so) around these parts. Then, that leads onto Christmas (complete with the trip to Alabama for the holiday and some much deserved time off of work). So, we are slap in the middle of the major holiday season for those of us in America (sorry Canadians) but completely out of NASCAR season. At least, with all of these holidays around, it is something to take my mind of not having racing to watch every weekend. Ahh, time fillers.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>In order to occupy myself until Daytona and before I start my Christmas and Hanukkah shopping (who am I kidding, I am going to put that off for quite some time), then I suppose I will share with each and every one of you a few stories from the past week or so that I have found most interesting. Of course, my form of sharing would not be complete if these links were not accompanied by my own brand of snarky comments and smartass attitude. Now, after my last column here, I received a complaint or two about my word usage and writing style. So, to work with those of you that may have been offended, I am going to see if I can keep up this hateful work ethic. <br /> <br /> What in the name of everything that is holy am I doing still yammering about all of this when I could just be spouting off random nonsense and having each of you read it (and some of you get mad at me for it)?! It is time to end the month on a solid note (and I would not have it any other way), with Mondiversions.<br /> <br /> Alright, so the big season wrap-up is that some guy by the name of James Johnson won the <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/nascar/cup/news/story?id=4680522&amp;campaign=rss&amp;source=RPMHeadlines">big title championship trophy deal</a>. It was a crazy finish to a wacky season! I mean, who saw this one coming&hellip;oh, you all did? I see. Well, you should all just feel so great for yourselves. Book a ticket to Vegas immediately with those masterful powers of prognostication and get rich picking the numbers, or ponies, or whatever the hell it is that people do in Vegas. Congratulations, you are all millionaires now!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="300" height="229" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/mooooney.jpg" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> Hey, all you new millionaires out there. Why not follow in Jimmie Johnson&rsquo;s footsteps and do something good with all that new loot? Because, when he is not winning four championships in a freaking row, <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=ap-nascar-johnson-grants&amp;prov=ap&amp;type=lgns">he is saving the state of American education</a>. Yeah, he wrote what was basically a million dollar check to some school districts. Fantastic, sir. I would like to bring your attention to a certain little home school that I run here in Chicago, that is in desperate need of some funding. Find me on Twitter!<br /> <br /> But, whenever you have a big winner, it goes without saying that someone has to lose. Though it is arguable that Jeremy Mayfield is this year&rsquo;s big loser in NASCAR (and that is my big understatement of the year, so enjoy it), it just so happens that one gentleman <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=ap-nascar-martin&amp;prov=ap&amp;type=lgns">walked away with another runner-up finish</a>. Oh Mark, you stop worrying. You are a young man with your whole life ahead of you.<br /> <br /> Speaking of guys who lost the Sprint Cup Championship this year, it turns out that when one door closes, another smaller door opens, <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nascar/story/10334518/Busch-wins-title,-Nationwide-finale?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxsports%2Frss%2FNASCAR+(FOXSports.com+News+for+NASCAR)&amp;utm_content=Google+Reader">at least it does if you are Kyle Busch</a>. Kyle was this year&rsquo;s Nationwide Series champion, which was bound to happen, as the guy runs enough to almost justify his amount of temper-tantrums. Sometimes, a boy needs a nap, or else he gets cranky. Get some sleep, Kyle. No more racing for a few more weeks.<br /> <br /> Let me see, what else can we wrap-up here to end the season. Ah, here is one. <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Joey-Logano-claws-his-way-to-Rookie-of-the-Year?urn=nascar,204336">Joey Logano won Rookie of the Year</a>. Well, that was not as thrilling as I had hoped it would be. What about this one, kids&hellip;Jeff Gordon&rsquo;s pit crew won the Fastest Pit Crew award, given out by AT&amp;T! Hmmm, even with the exclamation mark, that did not have nearly the harrumph for which I was hoping. I suppose I will just mark these up as (and pay close attention, this is a technical term) &ldquo;Who gives a shit about this?&rdquo;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="257" height="300" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/fail.jpg" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> Wait, I got it! Here is a post-season record that I care about! It turns out that Brian Vickers is, as the article points out, &ldquo;<a href="http://www.allleftturns.com/vickers-worst-chaser-history">The Worst Chaser in History</a>!&rdquo; That is a spectacular record. But come on, Team Red Bull, you guys can do it. I enjoy your beverage way too much for this to be the last we hear from you.<br /> <br /> WARNING&hellip;WARNING&hellip;STEREOTYPE ALERT!!! Larry the Cable Guy + NASCAR = <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=nascar_com-bam.racing.larry.cable.guy-20091123&amp;prov=nascar_com&amp;type=lgns">This</a>. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. The only saving grace of this is the fact that Warner Music Nashville&rsquo;s Vice President of Marketing&rsquo;s last name is Cashiola. Yes, if you ever thought that music execs were not JUST in it for the proverbial &ldquo;cashiola&rdquo;, now you know. <br /> <br /> So, it was determined today that more or less, Danica Patrick would be <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nascar/story/10183010/Danica-staying-in-IRL;-NASCAR-future-unclear?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxsports%2Frss%2FNASCAR+(FOXSports.com+News+for+NASCAR)&amp;utm_content=Google+Reader">sticking to her IRL schedule</a> and not jumping into NASCAR just yet. Meanwhile, pictures surfaced earlier today <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Danica-s-website-may-have-let-the-NASCAR-cat-out?urn=nascar,205714">showing Danica wearing a green firesuit</a> that definitely has the NASCAR Nationwide Series logo on the right shoulder and the JR Motorsports logo on the other. These pictures were quickly taken down from the website, which leads one to believe that this was quite a faux pas and someone behind the scenes is having the nerd ass handed to them. <br /> <br /> Finally, here is something that I am really enjoying reading, and that is a series that is being put together over at Yahoo by Jay Busbee, as he does a rundown of the Best of the Decade in NASCAR. The first is a broad <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Best-of-the-decade-The-top-10-NASCAR-stories-of?urn=nascar,205281">Top 10 NASCAR stories of the decade</a>. Of course, this is followed by the <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Best-of-the-decade-The-10-worst-wrecks-of-the-2?urn=nascar,205776">Top 10 Worst Wrecks of the 2000&rsquo;s</a>. Awesome. The winner of the best wrecks is predictable, but much deserved.<br /> <br /> I could not walk away without giving you at least a <a href="http://lolnascar.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/kiss-meh/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Lolnascar+(LOLnascar)&amp;utm_content=Google+Readerlolnascar.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/kiss-meh/">taste of LOLNASCAR</a>. Here is to a stellar post-season that leads into pre-season!<br /> &nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> 76.97.188.228 2009-12-01T00:35:00-05:00 mondiversions-for-the-last-week-of-november No Yes 67.186.96.175, 66.249.67.206, 174.37.205.67, 67.195.112.159, 66.249.68.227, 76.97.188.228, 75.101.170.136, 123.125.66.103, 200.126.226.16, 38.108.180.140, 63.215.202.234, 68.171.235.206, 66.249.65.200, 174.129.142.69, 89.151.116.52, 174.129.141.109, 75.101.232.27, 208.74.66.38, 208.74.66.62, 216.24.142.45, 72.44.48.172, 89.151.116.59, 70.37.92.166, 66.130.26.240, 70.37.66.169, 67.202.10.201, 216.24.131.118, 75.101.232.231, 71.102.23.168, 68.58.71.192, 216.129.119.11, 142.166.3.122, 216.24.142.47, 142.166.170.101, 71.204.60.187, 174.129.107.161, 119.63.198.42, 64.15.129.143, 75.72.34.95, 12.17.73.227, 70.44.139.130, 142.166.170.102, 67.228.189.217, 142.166.170.100, 67.202.38.107, 67.218.116.131, 67.195.111.172, 119.63.198.32, 66.249.68.172, 67.218.116.134, 72.30.142.161, 206.51.231.26, 38.99.98.168, 66.249.68.233, 66.249.67.229, 213.144.15.38, 67.202.15.176, 38.99.98.111, 218.28.29.236, 123.125.66.45, 74.6.8.89, 88.159.73.53, 96.231.189.123, 87.250.252.241, 209.249.53.43, 65.55.207.132, 209.202.168.80, 119.63.198.27, 65.55.106.114, 65.55.106.210, 98.27.130.109, 207.241.228.152, 66.249.68.219, 69.115.241.123, 166.82.144.97, 66.249.68.166, 65.55.218.159, 66.249.68.143, 174.133.177.66, 208.118.60.156, 98.206.101.17, 123.125.66.100, 74.53.3.132, 65.55.107.182, 66.249.65.109, 123.125.66.94, 202.131.30.148, 202.131.30.147, 98.199.208.158, 66.249.67.162, 67.195.114.243, 209.249.53.79, 66.249.67.72, 67.195.114.42, 88.191.89.58, 38.99.97.55, 65.55.207.47, 209.191.123.35, 66.135.56.32, 66.249.68.245, 38.99.97.10, 66.249.68.137, 66.249.67.218, 81.94.205.98, 24.5.247.63, 76.23.200.153, 76.27.86.187, 66.249.68.149, 202.131.30.150, 119.63.198.52, 66.249.68.204, 66.249.67.142, 72.55.18.62, 207.68.114.35, 98.210.181.44, 123.125.66.75, 66.249.65.77, 64.74.243.101, 123.125.66.81, 220.181.7.62, 97.83.232.103, 76.122.14.45, 203.131.250.162, 38.99.97.126, 86.139.31.6, 67.195.112.114, 75.9.77.38, 203.26.95.65 Mondiversions For The Last Week Of November 3 No NASCAR, Patterson Belser, Championship, Nationwide Series, Sprint Cup Series, Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon, Kyle Busch, -1 Mondiversions For The Last Week Of November 31 writer
article -1 -1 0 2009-11-18T22:53:00-05:00 Playerpress Yes 194 6124 <p><img width="400" height="267" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/DiversionSign.jpg" /></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>by Patterson Belser<br /> <a href="mailto:pattersonbelser@gmail.com" target="_blank">E-mail</a><br /> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/cpbelser" target="_blank">Twitter</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Kids, I am doing the best I can here. I am here tonight to bring you what I hope is a smashing column. But, my mind, it wanders. There is so much going on these days. I mean, I could complain about work, but there is really nothing about which to complain. We are busy though, and that is good. So work is taking some of my time. Not to mention, I sleep about six to seven hours a night, so between work and sleep, that leaves me about nine hours left in the day. Well, I am not counting the time that it takes to commute everyday, and with that calculated into this oh so difficult equation, I have about seven hours where I am awake and unencumbered. Well, maybe not so unencumbered. I have not been able to put my PSP down for a week or two now (damn you, Tomb Raider!), so that has eaten away at my time. Oh, and we just started watching a certain TV program, which shall remain nameless (so all of you ruiners can not ruin it), and that has been taking a great amount of time as well (but offering wonderful enjoyment).</p> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>So you may be asking yourselves, &ldquo;What the hell is this guy yammering on about, and what the hell does it have to do with me?&rdquo; To begin, you should stop being so judgmental, you callous jerks. OK, I take it back, yall are not too judgmental. What I am trying to get at here, is that I am taking time away from my obviously very busy schedule in order to put this entire column together. Feel special yet, because you should. So, to move onto the big news events of this week past, I shall quote the words of a redheaded Jewish gentleman by the name of Andy and say, &ldquo;Let&rsquo;s do this!&rdquo; WEDNESDIVERSIONS!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="300" height="400" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/IMG_1435.JPG" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> Who am I kidding? If I could, I would ignore all of the Jimmie Johnson articles that were posted this week. Not because I have the severe distaste for the driver (because I do not mind the guy whatsoever), but because of the super-saturation that they have caused. But, here are the biggies from this past week, and they are as follows:<br /> <br /> <br /> 1)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; It appears that <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=nascar_com-enterprise.inside.nascar.fourtime.champs.jjohnson.rpetty.jgordon.dearnhardt-20091118&amp;prov=nascar_com&amp;type=lgns">winning four championships in a row</a> is somewhat of a big deal. <br /> <br /> 2)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Not only is winning four championships in a row kind of a big deal, but it is now being prognosticated that Jimmie Johnson (if only there had never been a Jeff Jarrett, because Double-J would work very well for Jimmie) <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=nascar_com-inside.line.dcaraviello.jjohnson-20091118&amp;prov=nascar_com&amp;type=lgns">could be the greatest NASCAR driver of all time</a>. Yes, of all-freaking-time.<br /> <br /> 3)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Turns out that while winning four championships is kind of a big deal, and while Jimmie Johnson may be the greatest driver in NASCAR history, <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/nascar/cup/columns/story?columnist=newton_david&amp;id=4665807&amp;campaign=rss&amp;source=RPMHeadlines">that does not mean that any of this will play in Peoria</a> (as the kids used to say in the 1950&rsquo;s). <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Generally, the post-season in NASCAR is known as the silly season, which is the time when people search for and find new jobs. It just so happens, that in these rough economic times, the silly season has been going on for months already. To add to this year&rsquo;s mess, <a href="http://www.nascar.com/2009/news/headlines/cup/11/18/jmcmurray.dei/index.html?eref=/news/headlines/cup">Jamie McMurray has a new job for next year</a>. He is number one on the car, and number douche in your heart.<br /> <br /> Oh, and more on the silly season, <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=ap-nascar-trgmotorsports-labonte&amp;prov=ap&amp;type=lgns">Bobby Labonte has an employer for 2010</a>. No joke here, as Labonte rules.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="300" height="176" alt="This guy looks like a ventriloquist's dummy" src="/uploads/Image/JeffHammond2.jpg" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> Before I post this article, I just want you all to know how difficult it is for me to post an article from Jeff Hammond. I HATE Jeff Hammond. While I have been severely disappointed by ABC&rsquo;s NASCAR coverage, due to all of the commercials, I am none too pleased about FOX&rsquo;s NASCAR coverage when the 2010 season fires up in February. The dopey diatribes that we are all subjected to by the likes of Jeff Hammond and Darrell Waltrip really make me want to make a foreign film about me killing myself. Unfortunately, the guy makes a stellar point about how the <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nascar/story/10380828/Drivers-should-remember-the-fans?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxsports%2Frss%2FNASCAR+(FOXSports.com+News+for+NASCAR)&amp;utm_content=Google+Reader">drivers should do a better job reconnecting with the fans</a>. <br /> <br /> Oh, that Danica Patrick. When will she <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Danica-Patrick-s-not-coming-yet-Rick-Hendrick-s?urn=nascar,202853">pick a date for the big dance</a>?</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="300" height="159" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/Duh.jpg" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> For your &ldquo;Slap yourself upon the forehead with your own open hand&rdquo; moment of duh-ness for the week, it turns out that <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=nascar_com-fans.survey.marketing-20091117&amp;prov=nascar_com&amp;type=lgns">fans pay more attention to NASCAR later in the season</a> than in the beginning. I know, right? Who saw that coming?<br /> <br /> Hey, noble reader. Do you watch NASCAR? You do?! Well, then you probably know by now this simple fact: <a href="http://www.allleftturns.com/paul-menard-your-destiny-awaits">Paul Menard SUCKS</a>. Yes, you are going to take that FLOPPER award with no issue, I assure you of that.<br /> <br /> Yes, Jay Busbee put together a good article about next year&rsquo;s NASCAR season being rookie-free. But that is not why I am <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/2010-is-a-rookie-less-NASCAR-season-so-far?urn=nascar,203357">posting this article</a>. Why, then, would I put up this link? It is very simple, and like many things, it all comes down to a single picture. Click on that link, and look at the picture of Brad Keselowski. That kid&rsquo;s grill is SO bunk. He looks like a freaking electric can opener.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="300" height="225" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/Fight.jpg" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> Speaking of Brad Keselowski, he may be the only awesome story that is coming out of the end of this NASCAR season (well, with the exception of the fact that, from what I am to understand, some guy may win four championships in a row, though most people do not give a rat&rsquo;s ass about it). Thanks to Keselowski&rsquo;s beating and banging every car that happens to stand in his way out on the track, the waves have finally been felt <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nascar/story/10374676/Keselowski,-officials-meet-before-Sunday%27s-race?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxsports%2Frss%2FNASCAR+(FOXSports.com+News+for+NASCAR)&amp;utm_content=Google+Reader">at the upper echelon</a> (and by that, I mean the fancy trailer where the NASCAR bigwigs sit). Now, bring on the hardcore <a href="http://www.thenascarinsiders.com/2009/11/16/keselowski-continues-to-make-enemies/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheNascarInsiders+(The+Nascar+Insiders)&amp;utm_content=Google+Reader">fight with Denny Hamlin</a>. <br /> <br /> That is going to do it for my first article of my 29th year. Huzzah for me, and thanks to my parents for putting me here to entertain each and every one of you fine people. Thanks for the opportunity, folks!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="321" height="315" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/29.jpg" /><br /> &nbsp;</p> 76.97.188.228 2009-11-18T22:53:00-05:00 wednesdiversions-for-the-third-week-of-november No Yes 67.186.96.175, 66.249.67.174, 200.126.226.16, 66.249.68.242, 174.129.95.55, 89.151.116.54, 208.74.66.62, 208.74.66.38, 174.129.142.69, 216.24.142.45, 72.13.91.40, 174.129.141.109, 75.101.170.136, 72.44.43.230, 174.129.117.163, 216.24.142.47, 38.113.234.180, 79.99.6.106, 75.101.232.27, 142.166.3.122, 212.92.18.15, 174.143.213.49, 70.37.65.182, 89.151.116.61, 67.218.99.195, 67.202.10.201, 174.133.61.66, 70.37.92.166, 67.195.112.109, 75.101.139.240, 75.65.234.57, 67.18.5.138, 76.97.188.228, 174.36.228.154, 174.129.38.56, 123.125.66.109, 142.166.170.101, 72.44.48.172, 166.186.171.127, 64.13.147.189, 70.32.121.67, 173.50.79.224, 71.102.12.213, 216.129.119.81, 68.28.155.112, 216.24.131.118, 68.28.155.116, 166.137.134.36, 63.215.202.4, 142.166.170.100, 75.101.146.81, 75.101.232.231, 99.164.161.188, 67.207.201.151, 216.24.131.119, 216.24.142.46, 24.196.112.153, 4.78.248.3, 24.33.241.234, 173.29.224.187, 66.249.68.237, 83.149.198.96, 142.166.170.102, 174.59.140.219, 67.195.114.233, 72.40.154.94, 68.58.71.192, 79.183.103.138, 67.218.116.131, 216.129.119.11, 119.63.198.28, 128.30.52.70, 67.195.37.172, 65.208.151.119, 66.249.68.227, 130.246.45.90, 67.195.114.245, 207.67.117.178, 85.25.149.85, 142.166.170.104, 67.228.189.217, 120.28.64.77, 67.195.112.159, 74.62.154.166, 66.249.67.206, 63.215.202.234, 120.28.64.78, 66.249.65.200, 71.204.60.187, 123.138.18.114, 64.15.129.143, 119.63.198.43, 221.238.17.245, 216.129.119.12, 67.218.116.134, 120.28.64.94, 189.14.192.84, 208.53.64.32, 38.108.180.131, 174.129.171.1, 212.138.69.17, 91.205.174.49, 123.125.66.26, 66.249.68.230, 66.249.68.172, 119.63.198.22, 75.70.46.189, 65.55.207.26, 71.196.238.115, 72.145.162.174, 66.249.68.178, 66.249.67.229, 66.249.68.152, 117.197.58.236, 206.51.231.26, 84.53.109.120, 66.249.68.195, 213.144.15.38, 66.249.68.233, 216.85.156.106, 72.30.142.161, 67.202.15.176, 216.129.119.41, 67.195.111.172, 67.218.116.166, 87.250.252.241, 204.12.248.194, 72.66.50.98, 74.6.8.89, 67.170.13.32, 67.169.95.154, 65.55.207.102, 204.116.178.2, 209.202.168.80, 65.55.106.156, 198.76.194.3, 65.93.134.32, 123.125.66.17, 123.125.66.16, 65.55.207.75, 207.241.228.152, 123.125.66.115, 66.249.68.219, 119.63.198.40, 66.249.68.143, 174.133.177.66, 173.121.94.252, 208.118.60.156, 74.53.3.132, 65.55.107.179, 38.99.97.126, 66.249.65.109, 66.249.65.119, 207.118.241.106, 97.87.24.153, 202.131.30.146, 202.131.30.148, 66.249.65.37, 67.195.114.243, 173.15.101.26, 66.249.67.162, 77.69.195.30, 98.247.134.201, 66.249.68.137, 209.249.53.79, 67.195.114.42, 123.125.66.59, 66.249.68.248, 88.191.89.58, 69.244.182.135, 65.55.207.136, 66.249.68.245, 123.125.66.123, 71.251.119.13, 38.99.97.10, 207.29.212.12, 69.4.4.167, 81.94.205.98, 96.41.10.198, 67.195.112.85, 76.234.165.51, 65.55.107.180, 64.74.243.101, 66.249.68.204, 24.184.134.169, 203.131.250.162, 131.107.0.73, 209.159.237.84, 76.31.20.82, 76.202.19.51, 71.248.147.11, 67.195.112.114, 66.249.67.142 Wednesdiversions For The Third Week Of November 3 No Patterson Belser, Wednesdiversions, Paul Menard, Denny Hamlin, Brad Keselowski, Andy Freed, NASCAR, PSP, Jimmie Johnson, Sprint Cup, Jamie McMurray -1 Wednesdiversions For The Third Week Of November 31 writer
article -1 -1 0 2009-11-11T17:02:00-05:00 Playerpress Yes 136 6028 <p><img width="400" height="267" src="/uploads/Image/DiversionSign.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>You know, I am feeling a little better. I am fresh off of my Jeff Gordon rant, and I am feeling relaxed and happy. You know, I really do not know if it is a day off from work in the middle of the week (thanks Veterans!), or spending last evening at a winter beer sampling (thanks Binny&rsquo;s!), or maybe it could be from giving out a <a href="http://playerpress.com/articles/the-gomer-awards-3">Gomer Award</a> right to Jeff &ldquo;I am a douchebag&rdquo; Gordon. But whatever it is, it has got me feeling pretty, pretty, pretty&hellip;&hellip;.pretty good! But what can I do with myself in order to translate this relaxed feeling to each of you reading this (there are some of you out there reading this, I hope)? I think it is time to take this relaxation and apply it to a solid, weekly column that I put together.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>There is a lot to get through today. I have not posted a good rundown of events in a couple of weeks, so I am going to put it all together for you here and now. I really should not put off this dropping the news on all of you for this long, but you know how time has a way of getting past you here and there. Well, I am no exception, I promise you all that. Happy Veterans Day to everyone, and let me move on with this week&rsquo;s Wednesdiversions.</p> <p><br /> <br /> Well, another week, another lawsuit. Yes, Aric Almirola (am I spelling that right? Does it even really matter?) has <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Aric-Almirola-files-lawsuit-against-Earnhardt-Ga?urn=nascar,201803">filed a lawsuit against Earnhardt-Ganassi Racing</a>. It would appear that the guy who spells his name all wrong is angry because he stunk at racing. Actually, he is angry that he did not get to race a full season, as his contract said he was going to do. Meanwhile, the complaint filed does not even call for a jury trial, but instead asks for the case to move to arbitration. Hey, if you are going to start a fight, then actually fight.</p> <p><br /> <br /> The FLOPPER (Finishes Last in Overall Points While Participating in Every Race) Award is nearly wrapped up, with <a href="http://www.allleftturns.com/menard-probably-needs-skip-race-lose-flopper-award">Paul Menard dominating in his own crapulence</a>. Congratulations on the dominant season, Menard! We are all counting on you, and I think that you really have that fire&hellip;that flare&hellip;that certain spark to take this title. Come on, Paul. With any luck, you can have this wrapped up halfway through this week&rsquo;s race in Phoenix.</p> <p><br /> <br /> Man, <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/news?slug=nascar_com-inside.line.dcaraviello.phoenix-20091111&amp;prov=nascar_com&amp;type=lgns">after reading this one</a>, I want to go check out Phoenix. It does look like a pretty place. And $30 to sit on the side of a mountain and watch racing? If you tell me that I can haul my cooler up there, I am planning a trip. Plus, I will bet it is a hell of a lot warmer than where I am right now. I think I could dig on a good dry heat.</p> <p><br /> <br /> I dare you to <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Create-a-caption-Kyle-Busch-is-as-happy-as-a-li?urn=nascar,201471">look at this picture</a> and not crack a smile&hellip;or want to punch Kyle Busch. Although, I know some of you, and it has never taken a picture for some of you to want to punch Kyle Busch. But I implore all of you to not punch Kyle, as the authorities are just waiting on that form of overzealousness.</p> <p><br /> <br /> Turns out that Martin Truex, Jr. did not <a href="http://www.nascar.com/2009/news/headlines/cup/11/10/mtruexjr.penalty.texas/index.html?eref=/news/headlines/cup">pass post-race inspection after the race at Texas</a>. That resulted in some loss in points and loss of $50,000 out of crew chief Kevin Manion&rsquo;s pockets. Hey Truex, here is a word of advice for you: You should get a lawyer and sue Earnhardt Ganassi Racing. I mean, all the cool kids are doing it.</p> <p><br /> <br /> Oh SNAP! Denny Hamlin is all up in Jeff Gordon&rsquo;s grill <a href="http://www.allleftturns.com/denny-hamlin-goes-jeff-gordon">bustin&rsquo; some chops all on the Twitters</a>. Hamlin has a point, albeit not a very well-written point. But I am so torn here, as I am not sure which of these two guys I dislike more.</p> <p><br /> <br /> How could you not love a <a href="http://www.allleftturns.com/nascar-you-flowchart">very well done flowchart</a>? And, I ask you, is it OK if I am not only a NASCAR fan, but also the creepy guy with the beard? I hope it is, because I am. Also, according to this flowchart, I might be dangerously close to losing my girlfriend. MINDY! Don&rsquo;t go!!!</p> <p><br /> <br /> I have been watching races all season, and seeing stands at many tracks that are, in some cases, VERY empty. The NASCAR fanbase has gotten a bit smaller in the past couple of years, but there is good news! It would appear that NASCAR and sponsors of NASCAR are willing to <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Kurt-Busch-makes-some-random-dude-a-millionaire?urn=nascar,201147">rebuild one person at a time</a>. Yes, some gentleman won a contest and was not only treated to a VIP experience at Texas Motor Speedway, but also won a million dollars. Not too shabby for a guy who is a self-professed non-NASCAR fan.</p> <p><br /> <br /> Man, this economy is rough. Richard Petty has now <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nascar/story/10346766/Sources:-Petty-begins-cutting-jobs-before-merger">fired 47 people as of Monday</a>. It is rough out there, I tell you.</p> <p><br /> <br /> Anybody else out there becoming as big of a <a href="http://www.nascar.com/2009/news/headlines/cup/11/06/bkeselowski.penske.debut.texas/index.html?eref=/news/headlines/cup">Brad Keselowski fan as I am turning into</a>? This kid is alright, and I am looking forward to his full time season in 2010. The kid looks like a winner!</p> <p><br /> <br /> David Reutimann, you have <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nascar/story/10331696/Tums-signs-up-to-sponsor-Reutimann">another primary sponsor for 2010</a>. Tums signed on to be the primary sponsor on Reutimann&rsquo;s car for 5 races next. Maybe I am not firing on all cylinders here, but I feel like I am missing a joke here. Meh, moving on&hellip;</p> <p><br /> <br /> LOLNASCAR, I truly could not <a href="http://lolnascar.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/thank-you-veterans/">have said it better myself</a>. And, while I am at it, here is <a href="http://lolnascar.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/iz-given-u-fair-warninz/">another one for your viewing pleasure</a>. I loffed and loffed at that one.</p> <p><br /> <br /> That is going to do it for this week. Happy Veterans day to each of you and I hope your holiday has been splendid. I am off to meet with some government agents to do some top-secret drinking. If you do not here from me in the next week, please contact my congressman or somebody.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a target="_blank" href="mailto:pattersonbelser@gmail.com">E-mail</a><br /> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.twitter.com/cpbelser">Twitter</a><a target="_blank" href="mailto:pattersonbelser@gmail.com">E-mail</a><br /> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.twitter.com/cpbelser">Twitter</a><br /> &nbsp;</p> 76.97.188.228 2009-11-11T17:02:00-05:00 wednesdiversions-for-this-veterans-day No Yes 67.186.96.175, 66.249.67.174, 174.36.228.154, 200.126.226.16, 66.249.68.242, 76.97.188.228, 123.125.66.112, 173.50.79.224, 67.195.112.109, 174.129.107.161, 83.149.198.96, 216.24.142.46, 213.149.247.102, 12.17.73.227, 67.195.114.233, 66.235.124.57, 76.118.213.184, 67.202.34.153, 68.28.168.228, 98.223.173.236, 69.63.178.250, 134.179.104.135, 130.20.121.108, 69.204.88.37, 72.54.11.225, 67.218.116.131, 119.63.199.40, 96.242.215.236, 216.129.119.11, 66.249.68.27, 138.162.0.46, 75.65.34.252, 128.30.52.70, 38.108.180.131, 68.58.71.192, 174.129.114.74, 142.166.3.122, 142.166.170.101, 142.166.170.100, 69.50.56.205, 63.215.202.4, 142.166.170.102, 66.249.68.33, 66.235.124.56, 192.154.41.200, 66.249.67.205, 79.183.103.138, 67.218.116.134, 66.249.67.206, 66.249.68.227, 65.208.151.114, 67.195.37.172, 208.118.60.154, 130.246.45.90, 207.67.117.178, 142.166.170.104, 67.195.112.159, 67.218.116.164, 67.202.15.176, 66.249.65.199, 142.166.170.103, 123.125.66.107, 66.249.65.200, 64.15.129.143, 67.195.111.172, 216.129.119.41, 209.202.168.75, 216.129.119.40, 174.129.141.17, 91.205.174.49, 66.249.68.230, 72.30.142.161, 66.249.68.172, 91.205.173.243, 119.63.198.47, 66.249.68.178, 66.249.67.229, 65.55.106.227, 206.51.231.26, 66.249.67.67, 213.144.15.38, 66.249.68.233, 87.250.252.241, 74.6.8.89, 38.99.98.21, 66.249.68.91, 123.125.66.109, 209.202.168.80, 65.55.107.181, 65.55.207.96, 65.55.106.229, 79.107.59.64, 65.55.106.137, 66.249.68.143, 174.133.177.66, 65.55.106.182, 75.73.164.172, 74.53.3.132, 66.249.65.109, 66.249.65.119, 61.247.222.46, 61.247.222.82, 66.249.68.137, 68.32.6.218, 66.249.67.162, 65.55.207.136, 209.249.53.79, 67.195.114.42, 88.191.89.58, 203.124.93.34, 66.249.68.248, 123.125.66.79, 66.135.56.37, 173.69.167.33, 65.55.207.131, 66.249.68.245, 38.99.97.10, 66.249.67.218, 81.94.205.98, 98.222.52.175, 76.111.17.195, 209.177.239.222, 202.131.30.148, 66.249.68.149, 174.101.79.71, 66.249.68.204, 119.63.198.18, 66.249.67.142, 193.41.185.77, 68.47.16.207, 66.249.65.114, 67.195.112.85, 64.74.243.101, 75.149.250.37, 203.131.250.162, 67.195.37.188, 65.55.207.27 Wednesdiversions For This Veterans Day 3 No NASCAR, Wednesdiversions, Patterson Belser, Kyle Busch, Jeff Gordon, Denny Hamlin, Aric Almirola, Lawsuit, Earnhardt, Veterans Day -1 Wednesdiversions For This Veterans Day 31 writer
article -1 -1 1 2009-11-11T13:06:00-05:00 Playerpress No 165 6025 <p><img width="337" height="400" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/gomerpyle.jpg" /></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>by Patterson Belser<br /> <a href="mailto:pattersonbelser@gmail.com" target="_blank">E-mail</a><br /> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/cpbelser" target="_blank">Twitter</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>You know, I have been working on this idea for the Gomer Awards for a while now. The thought process was running on it for a bit before it ever saw the light of day on this site. Luckily, I have some folks here that are willing to let me try some things out and see where they go&hellip;so I have got that going for me, which is nice. We shall see where it goes in the future.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>This week, though, I am going to take this to, what I view, is a new level. I have a Gomer Award to give out to a guy that may be the most polarizing figure in recent NASCAR history. I am speaking of a gentleman who is a former Cup Champion multiple times over. This is a guy who has challenged and beaten some of the best this sport has ever had on the track. This is a gentleman who won NASCAR rookie of the year in 1993, who has claimed multiple wins at the Daytona 500, and he is the former owner of the greatest porno mustache that may have ever existed (not counting John Oates of Hall &amp; Oates, of course). So this week, we here in the voting committee go out of way to honor Jeff Gordon, our Gomer Award winner.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="300" height="304" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/Oates.jpg" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> Back some years ago, I was among the millions of Jeff Gordon haters, and I was quite proud of it. When I started watching NASCAR back in the mid 90&rsquo;s, it was the heyday for Gordon hatred. Those truly were the halcyon days. That guy was the clear foil for a still viable Dale Earnhardt, and people hated the rainbow-wielding Californian. <br /> <br /> Since this time, some years have passed and my hatred for this driver has mellowed tremendously. Earnhardt is no more and there have been many drivers in NASCAR that have come and gone that raised my ire much more than Gordon (as some of you may have noticed by the pieces I have written in the past). Gordon is good for the sport. He is well-spoken and represents NASCAR very well in the &ldquo;regular&rdquo; world. He has hosted &ldquo;Live With Regis and Kelly&rdquo; and also &ldquo;Saturday Night Live&rdquo;. He has helped to break the stereotypes that go along with NASCAR, and for that, I really did come around from my former hatred. <br /> <br /> But after Talladega, that has all changed. It is true, noble readers, I am back on the &ldquo;I Hate Jeff Gordon&rdquo; bandwagon. Climb aboard, as it should prove to be a fruitful ride!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><img width="269" height="300" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/GordonThumbsUp.jpg" /></p> <p><br /> <br /> Do you all know what I really hate (other than Jeff Gordon, again)? OK, so maybe that was a trick question, as I do hate many, many things. Right now, though, I am just going to focus on the fact that Jeff Gordon is a giant kiss-ass and a tattler. I am referencing what he had to say about Talladega after the race.</p> <p><br /> &quot;Bump-drafting through the corners is ridiculous. I don't think that had anything to do with the race that you saw last week. If anything, I think it's what allowed 30-plus cars on the lead lap with 30 (laps) to go. I think the reason why guys got to the end of the race more so than we've seen in the past is because we weren't pushing one another through the corners. I thought that was a big positive.&quot;</p> <p><br /> I thought I could get over it, as it happened a week ago, but I just can not get past it. Obviously I can not get over it, as I am writing about it a week and a half later. Yes, I am angry. What a little whiny snitch (yes, I did spell that correctly, though I could have easily substituted a certain word that rhymes with snitch) that Jeff Gordon is. <br /> <br /> Talladega is the first place that I saw a NASCAR race, and is directly responsible for fostering my love for the sport. Now, I am not going to sit here and explain to each and every one of you why Talladega absolutely rules. It just does. It is what it is and that is why we always love it. But, part of what makes it what it is would be the bump drafting that happens all the way around the track.<br /> <br /> According to a certain NASCAR official who chose to remain nameless, there were certain drivers, who also were going to remain nameless, who were complaining about this bump drafting through the corners at Talladega. In fact, this nameless official said, &quot;several well-respected veteran drivers came to (the NASCAR) hauler and said, 'We need to address the bump-drafting in the corners.'&quot; I wondered which of the veteran drivers out there would have complained about this, but as it turns out, one of them was Jeff Gordon. I also would not be surprised to learn that he was the only driver who complained, since NASCAR&rsquo;s governing body LOVES them some Jeff Gordon.<br /> &nbsp;</p> <p><img width="200" height="300" alt="" src="/uploads/Image/GordonSurly.jpg" /></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Due to these complaints about the bump drafting, we were all subjected to the worst race I have ever seen from Talladega. It was all single-file racing, which is unheard of at this track that is generally slap full of excitement from start to finish. But once NASCAR said that there had better be daylight between the cars in the corners, this single-file environment was born&hellip;and it stunk.<br /> <br /> So yes, Jeff Gordon, I am back on hating you. No, I am not foolish enough to believe that you, Jeff Gordon, are solely responsible for making Talladega, of all places, boring. I realize that is not your fault. What I do blame you for, however, is being a little narc to NASCAR. Then, once what you complained about caused for a most boring day of racing, you not only said that you were the one who complained but you attempted to justify what you complained about and also attempted to make NASCAR sound more awesome. You, sir, are wrong and your logic is skewed at best. Oh, and you are also an ass. Congratulations on your award, stupid.</p> 76.97.188.228 2009-11-11T13:06:00-05:00 the-gomer-awards-3 No Yes 67.186.96.175, 66.249.67.174, 66.249.68.242, 174.36.241.155, 76.97.188.228, 75.101.197.164, 64.233.172.6, 123.125.66.52, 67.195.112.109, 67.195.114.233, 200.126.226.16, 83.149.199.55, 67.218.116.131, 83.149.198.96, 213.149.247.102, 12.17.73.227, 66.235.124.55, 216.129.119.11, 72.226.100.155, 75.65.34.252, 119.63.198.16, 128.30.52.70, 38.108.180.131, 98.253.36.238, 147.26.110.218, 170.185.136.19, 97.73.64.145, 66.249.67.205, 79.183.103.138, 12.168.43.230, 174.129.87.184, 63.215.202.234, 67.218.116.134, 66.249.67.206, 65.208.151.114, 67.195.37.172, 66.249.68.227, 130.246.45.90, 67.218.116.164, 207.67.117.178, 67.195.112.159, 128.33.17.38, 123.125.66.17, 66.249.65.200, 142.166.170.100, 142.166.170.101, 67.195.111.172, 66.249.65.199, 216.129.119.40, 64.15.129.143, 75.72.34.95, 142.166.170.102, 216.129.119.41, 75.101.249.213, 91.168.173.141, 67.202.15.176, 209.202.168.76, 67.185.209.241, 65.55.207.120, 66.249.68.230, 66.249.68.172, 119.63.198.60, 91.205.173.243, 216.129.119.43, 208.118.60.154, 66.249.68.178, 88.146.126.140, 66.249.68.152, 206.51.231.26, 66.249.68.195, 66.249.67.229, 70.107.136.222, 213.144.15.38, 66.249.68.233, 71.82.133.105, 72.30.142.161, 84.57.224.83, 87.250.252.241, 123.125.66.23, 123.125.66.102, 71.127.245.101, 65.55.207.27, 209.249.53.105, 209.202.168.81, 38.99.98.21, 70.106.202.51, 66.24.209.192, 65.55.207.76, 12.175.178.250, 98.247.130.169, 207.241.228.152, 72.14.193.68, 66.249.68.137, 66.249.68.166, 119.63.198.11, 174.133.177.66, 66.249.68.143, 66.235.124.56, 65.55.216.53, 188.60.184.177, 24.196.156.163, 71.29.203.162, 123.125.66.94, 74.53.3.132, 66.249.65.109, 63.69.181.240, 123.125.66.62, 123.125.66.93, 66.249.65.119, 202.131.30.148, 61.247.222.82, 66.249.67.162, 24.13.173.11, 62.226.245.239, 209.249.53.79, 67.195.114.42, 64.38.3.50, 129.71.204.146, 65.98.224.5, 97.76.70.141, 65.55.106.160, 88.191.89.58, 69.209.123.78, 66.249.68.248, 66.249.68.27, 209.191.123.35, 66.249.68.245, 67.87.194.151, 66.135.56.37, 8.19.228.106, 38.99.97.10, 119.63.198.3, 81.94.205.98, 72.68.229.84, 66.249.67.218, 66.249.68.149, 75.132.162.31, 98.208.160.79, 202.131.30.149, 66.249.67.142, 67.173.52.182, 61.247.222.46, 24.61.85.188, 67.252.82.195, 66.249.68.204, 144.160.5.25, 65.55.106.209, 98.195.64.129, 98.211.7.254, 98.231.201.95, 66.249.65.114, 123.125.66.71, 69.171.160.136, 64.74.243.101, 64.247.124.34, 99.174.76.115, 123.125.66.126, 203.131.250.162, 165.138.97.186, 123.125.66.67, 207.255.240.9, 67.195.37.188, 67.195.112.114, 96.245.91.215, 71.206.245.216 The Gomer Awards 3 No Jeff Gordon, Talladega, Patterson Belser, The Gomer Awards, NASCAR -1 The Gomer Awards 31 writer
article 90 5 0 2009-11-01T13:39:30-05:00 Playerpress No 162 5890 <p>&nbsp;And maybe, I still will be ok after all.</p><p>&nbsp;Now I don't want to get into a big debate about what constitutes a sport. &nbsp;Although I pretty much have thought about it this way:</p> <p>1)&nbsp;Could I hit a Josh Beckett fastball? No.... Could I strike out Albert Pujols? &nbsp;Never</p> <p>2) Would I be able to make a basket against any NBA&nbsp;defense? &nbsp;No way.</p> <p>3) If Tom Brady threw me a pass in an actual game, would I catch it? No chance.</p> <p>4) What contribution could I make to the Bruins? &nbsp;Well, I can't skate, so I can pretty much eliminate hockey.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>5)&nbsp;Could I drive around in circles at top speeds for hours at a time with no end in sight?</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Why yes, yes I can do that.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>After I just completed a shift in my taxi in Boston where I logged 350 miles, I can relate to the racing around the city, trying to get to the next fare as quickly as possible, get them where they are going as fast as I can, then on to the next job with great haste. &nbsp;Added to the degree of difficulty were the many pedestrians who stepped right in front of the car. &nbsp;Now, if I drove for NASCAR, I would not even have that challenge. &nbsp;It would be even easier.&nbsp;&nbsp;Plus, last night was Halloween, so there were little Trick-or-Treaters out and about. &nbsp;I'd like to see Jeff Gordon maneuver around a ghost, a vampire, and the girl wanting to be Dorothy from Wizard of Oz. &nbsp;I've often thought it would be fun&nbsp;to see 10 Boston cabbies and 10 NASCAR&nbsp;drivers trade places for a day.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Or, how about a driving event with drivers who are completely useless? &nbsp;At home in Virginia, Kerri Corazon and I spent 10 minutes the other day in the Walmart parking lot behind a driver waiting for a space. &nbsp;We could not get around the driver, who blocked out any possible way of passing his car, while he waited for another customer to load all of his packages. &nbsp;This driver's blocking skills would be great in a new NASCAR&nbsp;event- &quot;the parking lot&quot;. &nbsp;Meanwhile, the customer with the packages apparently bought stock in Walmart and half of the inventory, which he slowly loaded into his car. &nbsp;Of course, there were other spaces in the lot, but the driver in front of us was intent on this one particular space, so everyone waited.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>And speaking of parking lot maneuvers, I found this <a href="http://video.yahoo.com/network/100284668?v=6250063&amp;l=3774749">video on YAHOO</a>. &nbsp;I figure to take the guy in this video, and the guy from Walmart, and a few others and &quot;the parking lot&quot; could be better than MLB's home run derby or the slam dunk contest in the NBA. &nbsp;Mix in a few Boston pedestrians, who obviously have so small a value on their own life that they throw their bodies in front of my speeding taxi, and I think we just might have a new sport.</p> 76.24.134.188 2009-11-01T13:39:30-05:00 i-guess-i-just-don-t-get-nascar No Yes 76.24.134.188, 66.249.67.133, 200.126.226.16, 66.249.68.245, 173.50.79.224, 174.129.87.184, 174.36.241.149, 205.188.117.68, 123.125.66.37, 174.46.170.182, 24.93.183.154, 98.210.107.191, 76.97.188.228, 174.129.107.161, 66.135.56.37, 67.195.113.245, 67.195.115.163, 218.28.29.234, 119.63.199.33, 67.186.96.175, 69.162.70.146, 72.30.78.232, 67.218.116.131, 216.129.119.11, 67.195.37.107, 66.249.68.227, 194.36.10.7, 66.249.67.238, 66.249.67.245, 71.192.144.151, 38.98.19.111, 38.108.180.131, 72.30.142.161, 66.249.68.11, 66.249.67.194, 129.234.193.194, 38.108.180.53, 67.218.116.134, 89.253.70.223, 64.102.89.216, 75.101.181.32, 71.62.132.165, 67.195.112.109, 66.249.67.243, 64.12.117.68, 67.202.15.176, 67.195.114.62, 142.166.3.122, 142.166.170.104, 216.129.119.13, 142.166.170.102, 213.149.247.102, 66.249.68.242, 67.195.114.233, 156.34.242.83, 38.105.83.6, 67.218.116.163, 66.249.67.174, 99.130.96.85, 75.65.34.252, 142.166.170.101, 128.30.52.70, 67.218.116.164, 66.249.68.72, 142.166.170.103, 85.25.124.132, 66.249.67.66, 123.125.66.30, 79.183.103.138, 119.63.198.33, 74.62.154.162, 87.106.232.224, 65.208.151.113, 67.195.37.172, 67.195.112.241, 66.249.67.206, 208.118.60.154, 205.209.170.2, 130.246.45.90, 63.223.124.237, 88.159.73.53, 67.195.112.159, 74.62.154.166, 66.249.65.200, 67.172.43.107, 64.15.129.143, 66.249.65.199, 75.71.217.58, 208.43.229.68, 212.25.68.178, 174.129.171.1, 67.195.111.172, 65.55.207.93, 66.249.68.230, 66.150.224.245, 123.125.66.29, 65.55.106.179, 209.202.168.80, 209.202.168.77, 206.51.231.26, 66.249.68.110, 65.55.106.109, 218.28.29.236, 119.63.198.13, 87.250.252.241, 71.123.95.75, 66.249.68.233, 38.99.98.21, 67.170.216.209, 71.41.201.38, 66.249.67.229, 66.235.124.56, 216.144.81.230, 65.55.207.46, 65.55.106.204, 174.133.177.66, 123.125.66.54, 207.241.228.152, 66.249.68.137, 65.55.207.71, 79.107.59.64, 195.113.214.214, 66.249.68.166, 123.125.66.46, 66.249.68.143, 65.55.216.9, 173.161.152.41, 216.73.189.207, 65.55.207.23, 74.53.3.132, 65.55.109.108, 66.249.65.109, 66.249.65.119, 202.131.30.147, 66.249.67.162, 119.63.198.21, 209.249.53.79, 67.195.114.243, 67.195.114.42, 65.55.207.96, 88.191.89.58, 72.122.28.163, 96.2.114.208, 66.249.68.248, 123.125.66.121, 174.127.132.136, 173.69.30.87, 123.125.66.132, 38.99.97.10, 68.112.72.219, 81.94.205.98, 61.247.222.45, 65.55.106.211, 67.195.112.85, 97.89.13.197, 64.74.243.101, 76.120.72.64, 67.195.37.188, 203.131.250.162, 66.249.68.204, 184.59.186.252, 68.105.80.85 I Guess I Just Don't Get NASCAR 3 No Josh Beckett, Albert Pujols, Tom Brady, Jeff Gordon, Yahoo, Walmart 39 I Guess I Just Don't Get NASCAR 793 writer