Winter (Sports) Blahs
Written by B-Dub, Friday February 12 2010
I'm bored!
Football is over, we're still a week away from pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training and I have no sports to watch.
Oh sure, you'll tell me there are plenty of sports to watch, but I don't care. The NFL rules this planet, as evidenced by the highest television ratings in history for the most recent Super Bowl. 106.5 million viewers watched the ultimate game in the number one sport in the world. Don't give me soccer either. I don't care how many people around the world watch soccer. If it isn't popular in the United States it doesn't matter. More on that later. And I know I'm showing my age, but I still love baseball. Baseball was the "National Pastime" as recently as the 70s and early 80s, when I was growing into the sports fan that I am today.
To me, football and baseball are at the top of the sports world. When there aren't playing I feel like there is something missing in my life. Unfortunately other sports just don't seem to measure up.
I stopped watching the NBA when my Philadelphia 76ers with Julius "Dr. J" Erving would battle the Larry Bird - Kevin McHale Boston Celtics and the Magic Johnson - Kareem Abdul Jabbar L.A. Lakers. OK, I admit I watched the Charles Barkley Sixers a bit and maybe the 2001 Allen Iverson Sixers, but I felt dirty about it.
The NBA is having its All-Star Weekend this weekend and I couldn't care less. All All-Star games stink anyway. But the NBA tries to spice it up with a slam-dunk competition that hasn't been relevant in over a decade. They have something called Shooting Stars, where they have four teams comprised of a current NBA star, a former NBA star and a WNBA "star". If you think this sounds interesting or even watchable, then perhaps you missed the part where I said it includes the WNBA. The H-O-R-S-E competition? I'd rather watch an old rerun of "Mr. Ed". Overall, today's NBA is unwatchable, one-on-one "street ball". No thanks.
The NBA is having its All-Star Weekend this weekend and I couldn't care less. All All-Star games stink anyway. But the NBA tries to spice it up with a slam-dunk competition that hasn't been relevant in over a decade. They have something called Shooting Stars, where they have four teams comprised of a current NBA star, a former NBA star and a WNBA "star". If you think this sounds interesting or even watchable, then perhaps you missed the part where I said it includes the WNBA. The H-O-R-S-E competition? I'd rather watch an old rerun of "Mr. Ed". Overall, today's NBA is unwatchable, one-on-one "street ball". No thanks.
I love watching the NCAA college basketball tournament (are you listening BCS?), but really, who gives a crap about that sport until March Madness? I don't and the television ratings say that I'm not alone. And even then, I'm really more interested in my bracket than anything happening on the court.
The NHL? Surely you jest? I've told you before that the NHL is basically soccer in America and nobody watches soccer either. Check the ratings for both if you doubt me. The sad part is that I used to love hockey. Turns out I liked playing hockey well into my late 30s more than I ever liked watching it on television. Yes, as a Philadelphian I would have loved the Broad Street Bullies who won two Stanley Cups in the 70s by beating the snot out of the league, but I was only five when they won their last Cup. I actually miss the days when the NHL had high-scoring teams like the Edmonton Oilers with Wayne Gretzky. I loved when the Flyers played them in the Finals with Ron Hextall going crazy in the net. But the majority of hockey fans are just homers anyway, who stop watching once their team gets knocked out.
NASCAR? I've already told you I'm not a fan of guys making repeated left turns and trying to convince me it's a "sport". It's not and the fact that they let a hot chick join in their little "Reindeer Games" just proves my point that NASCAR is a joke. A real sport doesn't resort to marketing gimmicks.
Speaking of jokes, how about golf? You remember golf don't you? It's that thing they used to play before Tiger Wood's wife smacked him in the head with a sand wedge. Seriously, have you even heard a word about the PGA or seen any articles about it since Tiger went AWOL. Tiger's return will be the most overly-hyped event in sports since John Madden heard Brett Favre was un-retiring...again. But it will still be golf and it will still be boring. No thanks.
The Winter Olympics? Unless Lindsey Vonn and Allison Baver are going to compete in string bikinis, you know I won't be tuning in. And apparently neither will anyone else, since NBC is already expecting to lose $250 mission on it's coverage of the event. NBC is planning 835 hours of coverage over 17 days on NBC, USA, MSNBC, CNBC and NBCOlympics.com. That's more hours of coverage than the last two Winter Olympics combined. Apparently the network figures it needs to broadcast every second it can to justify the ridiculous $2 billion they paid for the rights to show the Games. The only thing that gets ratings is the figure skating and since I am a straight man, I will not be watching that. I did read that Johnny Weir is bringing candles, his favorite teddy bear and a picture of Lady Gaga to decorate his room in the Olympic Village. "Favorite" teddy bear? Yeah, that just screams athletics to me. I'm out. Speaking of which, somebody please tell Johnny that, in the closet or out, nobody questions his sexuality because there is no doubt.
By the way, in case any of you think I'm being an "ugly American" for trashing the Olympics, please keep in mind that more than half of the International Olympic Committee's income from international broadcasters is from the United States. So without the United States of America, they couldn't even afford to hold the Olympics. It's kind of like without the U.S., there would be no freedom and the population of the planet would be speaking German right now. (OK, down off my soapbox now)
So now I'll sit here and patiently wait for updates from Spring Training. I'll wait for the beginning of NFL free agency on March 5th, even though I previously told you that it will be a huge disappointment. Then thankfully, in April, there will be the NFL draft and the start of the baseball season. I'm just not sure I can hold out that long. I can't wait for winter to be over.
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7 comments
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Don't worry Chriso, Sports Hell is over this week when pitchers and catchers report to spring training. It's not much, but I'd rather watch baseball players practice than watch anything associated with the Olympics. Or hockey. Nobody watches the NHL.
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we're in the sports desert, this is why i took my vacation now (although i have to admit i saw part of the slam dunk contest in a bar, and someone else won gold at the olympics...), i will be back soon...
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I'm not sure whether I've been complimented or insulted. Touche MC Homer. And by the way Homer, you're basically the West Coast B-Dub. You're critical, edgy, thought-provoking and generally just want to piss people off. I admire that. So glad the B-Dub Mentoring Program is working. Now if I could only get Kerri to turn.
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Just because I disagree with most of your work/ideas doesn't mean I stop reading it or hate everything you do. I enjoy your work because it uses correct spelling and proper punctuation. Well, that and I enjoy thoughtful opinions with logical arguments, even if I disagree. Not easy to find.
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A compliment from MC Homer? All right, who are you and what have you done with the real MC Homer?
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Baseball is not the "National Pastime" anymore because to enjoy baseball, you have to understand the sport, it requires effort and intellect. You don't have to understand football to enjoy the brute physicality. You know there's only about 11 minutes of actual action in a football game? Look it up. As a nation we are becoming progressively lazier, unmotivated, and less willing to "think" when we are watching tv. I also think Bud Selig does a horrible job of promoting his sport and the whole steroids thing didn't help. Enjoyable Dub, thanks.
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Holy Crap, I care so little that I totally forgot the NBA All-Star Game was even on tonight. Yawn.