Tiger Can't Fill Jordan's Shoes
Written by B-Dub, Tuesday August 10 2010
Tiger Woods just played the worst golf of his career last weekend at the Bridgestone Invitational. He finished the tournament in a career-worst 78th place, or one spot out of dead last. This is continuing a trend of un-Tiger like performances since his highly-publicized absence from the PGA Tour. So the question becomes, is Tiger Woods' career over?
Or at the very least have we seen the last of the guy who used to be Tiger Woods? You know, the guy who everybody has anointed the best athlete ever. The guy who made a billion dollars in advertising. The guy who was the most recognizable person on the planet (no doubt from all those ads). The guy who the media couldn't fawn over enough. Well, that is until ESPN decided to dump him to fulfill their unhealthy man-crush on LeBron James.
I am here to tell you that the Tiger Woods you have come to know is gone. I say this not as a golf fan (since golf isn't a real sport), but as a sports fan.
I wrote before how I thought Tiger was suffering from "equipment failure" in a tongue-in-cheek (insert your own punch line there) article about how he wasn't the same player when he wasn't banging dirty Hos all around the world. I even had someone tell me that his golf swing is off because his forearm muscles got too big after he got caught and had to give up his collection of porn stars, strippers and "waitresses". (Think about that one and get back to me). And I mentioned how he was a client of Canadian doctor Anthony Galea, who has been indicted for distributing HGH. Any one of those things could be the reason for the total disappearance of the talent that used to be Tiger Woods.
What I would like to point out is how stupid all of the people are that were once proclaiming Tiger to be the greatest athlete of all time. You are all dopes. Hell, he isn't even the greatest golfer of all time. That distinction belongs to Jack Nicklaus. Nicklaus won 18 majors, while Tiger is stuck on 14. You can't be considered the greatest in an individual competition like golf when someone else has won more than you have.
While I will admit that Tiger has dominated golf and basically become bigger than the game itself, he certainly isn't the greatest athlete of all time. In my opinion that distinction belongs to Michael Jordan.
Excuse me now, while I go wash my hands. I feel dirty just typing that.
Look, I hated Jordan when he played. I hated when he constantly beat my Sixers. I hated his stupid tongue sticking out when he played. I hated that the NBA changed the very rules of the game to allow him to travel every single time that he touched the basketball. But the fact remains that he was without a doubt the greatest player in the history of organized sports. He was the best player on the best team of his generation.
I refuse to turn this into a Jordan love-fest. I'll leave that kind of shameless ass-kissing to the frauds at ESPN. It's what they do these days. I just bring it up as a frame of reference because I think there is a very important parallel between Tiger and Jordan.
Both athletes had incredible success in their careers. Both men worked harder than anyone else at their craft. Both men were reportedly "difficult" during their time at the top. Both men stepped away from the game. And both men made triumphant returns to the game. Wait...what? Oh right, Tiger didn't exactly make a triumphant return did he? He has actually played like the worst golfer in the world, since he's been back, instead of the best hasn't he? Sorry, second worst judging from last weekend.
Jordan won three championships from 1991-1993, then "retired" in 1994. The official story is that he wanted to play baseball. I believe the rumors that Jordan was forced out of the game by NBA Commissioner David Stern because of all of his gambling problems. Makes a hell of a lot more sense than the ridiculous story that Jordan wanted to play a sport that he sucked at doesn't it? Anyway, Jordan returned (or was allowed to return, depending on what you believe) to the NBA in 1995 and led the Bulls to three more championships from 1996-1998, as well as an NBA-record 72 regular season wins in the 1995-96 season. He led the league in scoring in his first full season back and was also the Finals MVP for each of those Championships.
It's not a cut and dry comparison since Jordan played a team sport and Tiger plays a "sport" where there is no defense, they sometimes let women play with the men and all of the other "athletes" are out of shape white dudes like Phil Mickelson. But let's compare them anyway.
Jordan made his NBA comeback by winning three more championships. Tiger is making his comeback by playing worse than he ever has in his career. Jordan put an exclamation point on his claim to the crown of best athlete ever when he returned. Tiger is playing like crap and gets pissy whenever he's asked about the personal problems that led to his 20 week absence from the PGA Tour. Jordan won. Tiger whined.
As I said, I hated Michael Jordan when he played and I don't really care for him even now that he's retired. But for anyone to try say that Tiger Woods is even in Jordan's class any longer is simply a joke.
Maybe once Tiger stops trying to placate the media hounds and PC Police and goes back to being a whore-mongering HGH-using A-Hole he'll get his game back. If he never gets his game back he will still be the greatest at one thing. That would be the greatest flameout of any athlete in history. Hey, at least he would be number 1 in something right?
Leave a comment
Not So Fast! To publish your comment, you have to login
Not Registered? Register now as it only take 20 seconds!
Click here to browse
5 comments
Please sign in to rate!
B-Dub; Why are you comparing an NBA legend to a PGA legend? It would be more appropriate to compare Tiger to Phil, Arnie, or Jack. If you don't think golf is a real sport we should meet on the golf course someday and see if you can hit the ball. Guys that never competed or laced up the cleats make ignorant comments like that!
Please sign in to rate!
Randolph, it's spelled "Hos" when you are referring to women of questionable morals. A "Hoe" is a garden tool, not a chick who handles a "tool". See the difference there?
Please sign in to rate!
By the way B-Dub, it's hoes, not hos. Tiger is the best golf player of this era, but I'm enjoying the humpling he's going through. He deserves it for the extent of cheating he did to Elin. I do believe he can regain his golf stroke (I had to be specific), but it is gratifying to see him struggle as his life that's still spinning out of control messes with his head.
Please sign in to rate!
RandolphC, I get offended quite often, but my friends and family are tough on me. You can imagine what people who hate me say about my opinionated writing. Thanks for the kind words...I think. I wrote this because I just couldn't take any more of the Tiger ass kissing going on in the media. And you are so right about the quality of writing these days. What the hell are they teaching in English classes? It sure doesn't seem to be basic English and writing skills.
Please sign in to rate!
B-Dub, I almost don't care what you got off your chest, but I'm glad you did. I'm tired of seeing five paragraph posts here. What happened to well thought out articles with supported opinions? People need to leave the reporting to the media and start putting some time into their work here. You feel me? I'll read this later. Hope you're not offended.