TC's NCAA Football Mailbag!!! Tebow!! OJ Simpson!!! Carpaccio!!!
Written by Big Poppa TC, Thursday November 19 2009
Here we are. We’ve gone through elevenish weeks of college football, and most of us have an idea of what are favorite (and not favorite) teams are made of. As usual, perennially overrated teams like Notre Dame, Michigan, and Cal have fallen to the way side. Ohio State has once again staked its claim over the useless Big Ten, and is awaiting its New Year’s Execution (Rose Bowl). The Florida Tebows are still undefeated, and no one cares about the ACC (call me in two years when Miami is good again, they’re almost there). It’s the same as every other year. Or is it?
What happened to USC over the weekend? Is Stanford legit?
Toby G. – Palo Alto, CA
So we all knew that USC would lose one conference game, which they have done every single year for the last 93 years. They were smarter this year and did it early, so they could win voters back by the end. So it was a momentous cantankerous gregarious shock when they got ‘prison-styled’ in the ‘shower’ at home to a good but not great (but definitely improving) Stanford on Saturday. Cardinal running back went OJ Simpson (football and alleged murder) style on the vaunted USC defense, and Pete Carroll came away whining about how Stanford went for two late in the game when the game was no longer in question. I actually think the first game they lost was a fluke with a crappy quarterback (due to injury), and that this was their first real loss. But I’m glad they lost again.
So we all hate USC, as they are the University of Spoiled Children, Second Choice, South Central, Will Ferrell (I hated him first, then liked him, now I hate him again), Ed Hardy, and France. But lets not forget they treat the rules with impunity, as in the last decade they bought Reggie Bush a house (allegedly), murdered (allegedly) their crappy kicker (he fell off a cliff in LA, who does that?), paid OJ Mayo, dropped weights (allegedly) on Stafon Johnson. All of these shady things happening have led to nothing, no sanctions, no repealing of national titles, nothing but Pete Carroll laughing all the way to the bank and Trojans fans setting a new record for smarminess. So the rest of the country, especially me, will enjoy telling USC to “Enjoy the Sun Bowl, b*****s.”
I know you hate USC, but shouldn’t UCLA be better by now?
Kevin C. – Santa Monica, CA
Dang and I was doing so well yes. So while USC is going through the travesty of losing 2 games this season, UCLA is still….ummm…. rebuilding. Honestly, we’re not good but we would definitely be better if we didn’t lose are top two quarterbacks for the season in spring practice on the same day. And are third stringer has been injured off and on as well. So with a little health, we’ll be better next year. The secondary is stellar with Rahim Moore (9 INT’s) and All-American Alteraun Verner, and the running game has been very effective considering defenses stack nine or ten in the box for most plays. So… there’s a legitimate excuse (broken quarterbacks), and there’s hope. Maybe USC will decline?
Who ya got? Florida or Alabama winning the SEC title and going to the National Championship?
Urban M. – Gainsville, CA
I will absolutely say that Alabama has looked more impressive this year, no doubt. But the Tebows are the defending National Champion and haven’t lost yet this year. Tebow promised not to lose any more, and he’s kept his promise. I think after he graduates and scrubs out of the pros, Tebow could open up his own Florida community college and structure all the classes around him and his life and philosophies. He could have classes in Tebownomics (economics of Tebow), History of Tebow (self explanatory), Tebowology (physical body of Tebow), Tebowlosophy (philosophy of Tebow), Tebowtany (plants in Tebows yard), Tebownometry (Math of Tebow), Tebowtechture (buildings and bridges shaped like Tebow), Litebowture (writings or about Tebow), Tebownium (musical instrument). Don’t you think people in Florida would go to this school? It could at least be like a summer football camp for high schoolers. Or a college course at UF. Ok I clearly need to get out more.
Can the Ohio State actually beat a real team in the Rose Bowl this year?
L. James – Cleveland, OH
The Big Ten is carpaccio. They like to think they’re great because they play raw, beefy football. But its’ really very one dimensional and can’t keep its shape well when put up against the athletic and multidimensional meats from other parts of the country. Even more than that, Terrell Pryor sucks. Ohio State hasn’t been good since Maurice Clarrett, and they got beat by Freshmen QB Matt Barkley at home in his second game. So bet on Oregon or Stanford or Arizona or whoever comes out of the PAC 10 (also not a good conference but better than the Big 10) in the Rose Bowl. Here’s a thought though, imagine if Clarrett wasn’t the 3rd dumbest man on the planet and stayed in school and Lebron went to Ohio State as a tight end/receiver. Oh does that make Buckeye fans feel even worse? Sorry about that.
I heard you went to Reno for the Nevada – Fresno State game, man Fresno State got whupped.
D. Carr -> New York, NY
So me and some other Bulldog Alumnus road tripped it to Reno for this ‘big’ game. Well it could have been big. If Fresno State had won, they would have been in 2nd place in the WAC with the possibility of a three-way tie for WAC champion. We got to the area around the school, and the parking was crazy and everywhere and FREE. There were a million tailgaters on this crisp clear day, and we drove around forever all over random dirt lots and pits and found some relatively close parking. The stadium was kind of weird, like a skeleton stadium, more like lots of bleachers pressed up against concrete walls. But we had seats with our backs against the wall in the visitor section (extremely comfy) and hot dog in hand, the game started.
We scored a touchdown on a long pass like the second play of the gaem. Then they scored like two plays later on a long run. Then we scored like two plays later on another long pass. Then they kicked a field goal relatively quickly. So by now, we were all thinking that this would be a close but exciting shoot out. This is where it all went to Oakland Coliseum (that’s my new euphemism for s***). We had a million fumbles and threw a few picks, couldn’t stop the super obnoxious run option offense of Nevada, and ended up losing by like 40 points. But you know what? Every Nevada fan and staff person at the game was soooo nice. They thanked us for making the trip out, wished us nice drives back, they were just very cordial and polite. Very, very refreshing. It left me with a pleasant taste in my mouth (although I’m pretty sure the USC lost had an impact too!).
Conclusion
So I guess the teams I like are pretty much done for the season, and it’ll be more about rooting against teams I hate the rest of the way: USC, Ohio State, Notre Dame, Michigan, West Virginia, Florida State, Rutgers (surprising not Florida). But I have jumped on the Cincinnati (Kenyon Martin 4LIFE) bandwagon and I’m backing Boise State because it gets Fresno State money when the Broncos go BCS. Enjoy the rivalry games these next few weeks, and message me (or post here) with your prospective mailbag questions.
Oh and I have Forrest Griffin this week over Jenna Jameson's husband.
Peace.
Tags:
Leave a comment
Not So Fast! To publish your comment, you have to login
Not Registered? Register now as it only take 20 seconds!
Click here to browse
0 comments