PPFFL Week 8 Recap
Written by Benn Hodapp, Wednesday November 04 2009
Hello, and welcome to 'you either had a great week or you were a useless asshat' week in the PlayerPress Fantasy Football League. My God, I really have no explanation for the out of control variance in scores this week, although the Patriots were on bye, so that might be part of it.
(4-3-1) DaBares - Nolan Thomas - 79
(3-5) Texans - Greg Shelley - 74
Nolan was able to overcome the 28 points he left on the bench with Mark Sanchez to win a throughly unimpressive bout with the suddenly juggernauting Texans led by Greg. Hometown boy Matt Schaub failed to deliver for the first time in weeks, which spelled doom for the scrappy Houston bunch. Miles Austin continues to impress for DaBares. I might mention that Nolan actually picked him up before he started getting 200 yards every week. I don't really know what to say about that. Greg, on the other hand, has the most points in the league and sits under .500. This league is completely ass backwards.
(6-2) Bayside Tigers - Brian Kintz - 127
(4-4) Flash Greyhounds - Todd Schmerler - 69
Wow. Smooth, Schmerler. I'd like to blame byes for this performance, but I don't think Ochocinco would have pulled a 59 had he been active. Congratulations to Steve Slaton for being the best player on your opponent's team. He pulled a -1 while No. 2 RB Beanie Wells put up an astounding 4. For Brian, whom I have no idea who he is, he was led by, well, everyone. Eight of his nine players put up double digit scoring with Matt Forte (24) and Reggie Wayne (20) doing the biggest damage. Bayside appears to be the most dangerous team in the league right now. Makes sense that he has a league-best 6-2 record.
(3-5) Hypnos_zz - Jason Coldiron - 120
(2-5-1) MC Homer - Michael Cureton - 113
Homer was without question the hard luck loser of the weekend, putting up a great total in the loss. Maybe had he tried to pick up a WR instead of letting a slot stay unoccupied he could have won. Still, 83 of his 113 came from three guys: Tony Romo (27), Steven Jackson (21) and Chris Johnson (35). Coldiron was paced by a more balanced performance led by Brett Favre (33), Frank Gore (19) and the Ravens D (20). If Homer hated fantasy football before this week, I imagine the relationship has not improved after that screwjob.
(5-3) Cleveland Steamers - B-Dub - 89
(5-3) Born A Brave - Daniel Doyle - 50
Really, Daniel? You left four players active during byes, but it wouldn't have mattered as it turns out. Only Ray Rice (benched behind socially progressive gay advocate Larry Johnson on both a bye and team-sanctioned suspension) did anything on his bench (16). Dub had a terrible, almost historically bad week were it not for his favorite punching bag Donovan McNabb who came up with 26 points. He was joined by MJD (29) and the Panthers D (22) to make up 77 of the 89 points. Unless I am mistaken, 50 is the lowest point total of the year thus far, so if Doyle makes the playoffs it will be stricken from the record.
(3-5) Ridemcowgirl1 - Stacey Mickles - 59
(3-5) Bo Jackson's - Taver Chong - 52
That score is too miserable to even break down. You fail and I hope you both get swine flu. How dare you.
(4-4) Philly Fans Suck - Benn Hodapp - 145
(5-3) Sweatpants + Handguns - Kerri Senno - 98
Jesus. What is that smell? Why, it's freshly-charred hind quarters courtesy of pretty much everyone on my roster. Sorry, Kerri. I still like you as a friend, but a relationship could never survive under such devastating circumstances as these. You asked me to bench Aaron Rodgers (34) in favor of Shaun Hill (benched), but that would have only resulted in a 13-point win for me. I am sorry for not accepting your request. Meanwhile, I missed out on tying the season-high in points, held by Coldiron in week 2. Damn you, fellow Sacramentan.
It's getting to be crunch time. With everyone so close together no one is really out of playoff contention. Adjust your lineups accordingly. And Coldiron, I'm coming for you this week, you somunnabatch.
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15 comments
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Homer, I would offer my advice but in this case I don't know how I've won two in the row myself so, I'll shut up now.
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Come on now Bama, I actually have a winning record. And I don't believe in VooDoo. Jobu yes, VooDoo no. Homer I predict that this week you lose when your kicker has a FG blocked. So instead of barely winning with those 3 points you lose because your opponent has the D/ST that blocks the kick and returns it for a TD. Oh the Humanity!
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What about me coming back next year? I try every week and lose in some new, shoot-me-with-your-sweaty-handgun-please way. If the stupid league would have given me credit for Ginn's two KO return TDs, I'd have won. What kind of crappy rules does this league have? Bastards. I can't wait to see how I'll lose next week.
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Did you say something? I'm too busy sticking pens in my B-Dub doll. LOL hey it worked during the World Series. Hmm this week I think I'll dress him up with an Eagles uniform on. Again, you don't run the league and just like you, I was ASKED to join by Nolan. You just mad basically that you are losing to people who aren't on the site as much as you and that has to make me smile and I'm sure a few others as well.
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I won't be losing to any of the owners like YOU Bama, because none of you will MAKE the playoffs like my superior team. How pathetic that you can't take a few minutes to at least keep your team current. The rest of us at least deserve THAT much effort from you. You're being VERY disrespectful by taking away from the league. And I do believe that Nolan backed me up about getitng rid of the bad owners and he DOES run this league. Overlook that little fact did you?
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The Last time I checked, you don't run the league and besides you need to worry about your own team winning instead of worrying about someone else's. I think it would poetic justice if you lost to one of the people you were bitching about in the playoffs. That way would you not only lose but that would shut you up for about 2 minutes.
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Screw the money. If you need a few bucks to motivate you for something like this then do the rest of us a favor and stay out. I play for the sheer joy of winning and then talking smack. Oh yeah, I want that trophy too.
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I second that notion--who is Brian? Does he write secret articles?
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If you want more involvement,offer CASH. Otherwise some of us do have work and lives to be concerned about. You guys are really going to be pissed if my half ass team beats yours. lol
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Oh yeah Bama. I watched that game unfold and was impressed. Why play the full team when you don't have to? True. Winning is everything in this league and losing just sucks, yet it really sucks this last week if you were the Bo Jacksons.
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Dub, you are right! Next season the teams that have not kept up their teams will not be invited back for year two of the PPFFL. I won't name names, you know who you are and if you want to be invited back again next season, you had better start be a better owner. Oh and good article Benn!
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I love how I score 98 points, and lose miserably. If only I could have played against one of the members of the Reserve Players alliance this week.
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Benn don't hate, save your hate for when my team knocks yours out of the playoffs at the end of the year. And Greg you are right, but I still won now didn't I? LOL drink the haterade haters.
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Good article Benn--Thanks! Nice victory Nolan--Benn forgot to mention that my TE, the highest scoring TE in our league went down for the year after just getting 2.2 points. That was severely detrimental. But, he was correct about the Schaub thing--I finally had to put him in because Brady was on a bye and he hands the ball off to Moats for three touchdowns. Boo! Oh, and I think Stacey won that low-score contest with only two active players. Buah-ha-ha.
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All the writers here who haven't bothered to keep an active lineup this year should be banned from the league next year. If I wanted this kind of indifference I would join a bullshit Yahoo league. And MC Homer, maybe you hate fantasy sports so much because you're BAD at it. Or maybe you were just too busy taking calls from David Stern. You definitely won't be getting a call to be the commissioner of the PPFFL though. Great article Benn. Love the Swine flu rip.