PPFFL Week 14 Recap
Written by B-Dub, Tuesday December 15 2009
The PlayerPress Fantasy Football League regular season is over and now its time for the playoffs. Four teams were lucky enough, or in my case talented enough, to make the playoffs. The other teams will just have to sit back and wonder where it all went wrong. (Maybe it had something to do with half the owners not paying attention all year. Just a thought) But before we look ahead to the playoffs, let's look at how we got there.
DeBares (Nolan Thomas) 96 - MC Homer (Michael Cureton) 86
This was the only game that mattered last week in the entire league, since the other two division winners and the Wildcard team were already decided before the last week of the season. The winner got a ticket to the playoffs, while the loser got left out in the cold. I find it very ironic that this was the most important game of the week, since we don't know from week to week whether MC Homer loves fantasy football or hates it. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say he hates it this week after the bitter loss. I might muster up a bit of hate myself if my three WRs combined to score ZERO points like MC Homer's did. Breston (1), Murphy (0) and Moss (-1) were a non-factor. As a matter of fact, the only player who came up big for MC Homer was his Johnson. My West Coast sources tell me that the words "Johnson" and "came up big" have never used in the same sentence before when referring to MC Homer. No wonder he hates "fantasy".
DaBares rode Jason Campbell (22 points, really) and the Titans D (27, since our scoring is seriously messed up) to the victory. It was fitting that Nolan's worst player, Greg Olsen (1) is also his only Bear. No wonder he actually had a winning team. Thanks again for dropping McNabb. Pure genius right there.
Born A Brave (Daniel Doyle) 129 - Texans (Greg Shelley) 101
Would be wrong of me to point out that the Texans best players were all on their bench? No? OK, then I won't. At least they played a great defense in the Eagles. Born a Brave got huge games from Manning, Grant, Rice and Andre Johnson in the win. But all I keep thinking is, why the hell are the Braves in the West? The Texans are an expansion team so they get stuck anywhere, but the Braves should be in the East. Even baseball got that one right eventually. Maybe our Commissioner can get these details worked out next season. Of course, half of these owners won't be around next season anyway. Double D and G-Shell should be back though.
Hypnos_zz (Jason Coldiron) 116 - Bayside Tigers (Brian Kintz) 96
This is a joke right? Jason stopped paying attention to his team weeks ago and he somehow outscores nine other teams even with an inactive Devin Hester in his starting lineup? I don't know whether that's funny or sad. At the very least Jason's team name was very appropriate. He could have been asleep all season and we wouldn't have know the difference. Then we have the Curious Case of Brian Kintz. If a Playerpress writer has a fantasy football team but never posts any articles, does he even exist? To make matters worse, Bayside won the Eastern division over my team. There's nothing funny about that. I'm assuming we won't be seeing either of these guys in the league next season. Of course, we never saw them this season either so what's the difference.
Philly Fans Suck (Benn Hodapp) 89 - Flash Greyhounds (Todd Schmerler) 63
Yet another team with an owner of limited participation. Or maybe it just seemed that way as Flash rocketed towards the bottom of the league by losing their last 5 games. I haven't seen that kind of collapsing choke job since the NY Mets in 2009, or the Mets in 2008. Something tells me that Kerri wouldn't have come up with the same analogy.
Benn "Too Many Consonants" Hodapp names his team Philly Fans Suck then proceeds to have four Philly players on his team. Yeah, that makes sense Benn. I have no idea how this team wonn their last sevenn games of the seasonn. Maybe it's all those unnecessary consonantsss.
Sweatpants & Handguns (Kerri Senno) 67 - Bo Jackson's (Taver Chong) 48
How is it possible that a team can score 67 points and actually win a game? The answer is that you play Bo. Bo knows losing. Bo scored the fewest points of any team during the season and yet all I can think about is why the team is named Bo Jackson's (with an 's) and why their logo is a piece of pizza. Seriously, what's up with that? Maybe Taver Chong really is Tommy Chong's little brother, as I said earlier in the year.
Kerri's Sweatpants & Handguns team started off the season 5-1, then proceeded to lose 6 of their last 8 games. Since I already used the Mets analogy I'll just stay in New York and compare her team to the Giants, who haven't been a winning team since her namesake shot himself in the thigh. This has not been a good sports year for our Kerri.
Cleveland Steamers (B-Dub) 133 - Ridemcowgirl1 (Stacey "Bama" Mickles) 85
The score of this game was meaningless since Stacey and I decided to let the BCS decide which one of us would be declared the winner of the game. Since the Steamers scored more points during the season by running up the score on overmatched opponents and the Cleveland fanbase travels well, the "Committee" decided to declare the Steamers the winners. Since Stacey is the biggest defender of the BCS on the planet, her team's response was typically subdued.
Maybe that's because her team is filled with former SEC players, who aren't smart enough to know exactly what happened. I'm sure Stacey will have their parole officers explain it to them. Unfortunately with only 4 wins the team isn't even eligible for a minor Bowl game like the Tiger Wood's Ho Ho Ho Bowl, on Christmas Day in Vegas. Too bad, I hear the "Cheerleaders" are really something there.
So there you have it. The regular season is over and now the real season begins. Luckily the BCS isn't involved, so we'll get to settle this on the field....so to speak.
Hey Benn, is this "n" yours? Damn things are everywhere.
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15 comments
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Benn your ignorance is only outdone by the excessive "N"s in your name. Just ask Pat Burrell how the fans treated him when he slumped for a year and half. Or maybe you saw Allen Iverson's teary press conference when he talked about his love for the Philly fans. Philly has always supported their teams. You could check the attendance figures if you doubt me. We aren't Bandwagon fans, we just don't accepting losing like other cities. That makes Philly fans the best. I will defend their honor by crushing your inferior team this week.
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even Philly fans are happy when you win.
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if they start out next year 0-3 there will be riots and Roy Halladay will get death threats if he has an ERA in the 3s.
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Thanks for being the typical West Coast fan Benn. Bailing out early at the first sign of trouble? Say it aint so. As for Philly not rooting for it's fans, you couldn't possibly make a more ridiculous statement. The Phillies drew over 3.5 MILLION fans last season. You don't consider that supporting the team? OK then, how about the fact that every single Eagles game is always sold out and there is a waiting list for tickets that could literally fill the stadium twice more? Still not convinced? Hmmm, Well how about the over 2 Million people who attended the Phillies parade after the 2008 WS? As a comparison, Pittsburgh didn't even draw 300,000 to their last SB parade. Yeah, I guess Philly fans have a lot to learn about loyalty and longevity from you guys on the West Coast don't we Benn?
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Hey guys, when does this league start?
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re: owning 4 Eagles - Well, someone has to root for them. Cuz Philly sure doesn't.
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It's already over. Congrats on the win.
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Benn, you're going down like one of Tiger's Hos. Hey, maybe you can change your team name to "Tiger Fans Suck".
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Nahhh, the last thing the world needs is another Philadelphia Championship....LOL Go DaBares!!!!!!!
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Kerri, you know you want to root for my team. Don't fight it. Come on now. East Coast Rules, right?
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Put down the "Haterade" Bama. I am a friggin riot, but I must admit that nothing was funnier this year than your fantasy football team.
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If dub's jokes were half as good as his team, maybe he'd be funny. Good luck to you guys in the playoffs most of you anyway.
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Well done B-Dub! It's been fun, yet painful at times. While I'm happy to have my time back, I'm disappointed about the fail. With a name like "Texans" I should be getting tired of these .500 seasons.... Maybe next year.... Good luck in the playoffs folks.
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I appreciate your sympathy. If Jay Cutler had shot himself in the leg, I would have been in better shape. Now...who should I root for in the playoffs!?
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Moving on to the playoffs, how ironic is it that Philly Fans Suck is playing B-Dubs Steamers in the first round? LOL