Playerpress Fantasy Football League Week 5 Recap
Written by B-Dub, Tuesday October 13 2009
This may be the only time they let me write this, so I better make it good.
DaBares (Nolan Thomas) 144 - Hypnos_zz (Jason Caldiron) 85
We are now in week 2 of the Playerpress league's version of "Where's Waldo", otherwise known as why won't Hypno_zz change their lineup. It didn't matter that Hypnos' mascot is on the side of a milk carton this week since DaBares had the high score of the week. Hell, Hypnos would have beaten six other teams last week, so what does that say about those owners who were actually paying attention?
DaBares is either a genius for starting Miles "Stone Cold Steve" Austin on the week he had the game of a lifetime, or he's just lucky all his other WRs were on a bye. Judging from the record we'll go with luck.
The good news is that Nolan has reported that Jason has been found safe and sound. The bad news, he isn't talking about what the aliens did to him up there. Don't Ask, Don't Tell?
Bayside Tigers ( Brian Kintz) 85 - Philly Fans Suck (Benn Hodapp) 58
Hey Benn if Philly Fans Suck, then how exactly would you describe your performance last weekend? Craptacular? Those 58 pathetic points tied for the lowest of the week. While it was encouraging that Michael Turner finally decided to show up for the first time this year, it's not such a good sign that he scored almost half of the team's points.
The Bayside Tigers got lucky that Roddy White came up big with 33 points, since the rest of their team either didn't perform well or got pulled early. Man this sounds like a Viagra or Cialis ad. Somebody tell John Hernandez that I want a piece of those advertising dollars. With the win the Tigers stay at the top of the East Division.
Cleveland Steamers (B-Dub) 103 - Bo Jackson's (Taver Chong) 67
Are we sure Bo Jackson's owner isn't Tommy Chong? The team seemed to be playing in a fog. Hell the Steamers bench outscored Bo. It hurt that Calvin "& Hobbes" Johnson got hurt without registering a fantasy point, but I don't know if he was going to get more than the 36 needed to pull out the victory. Bo did not know a win last weekend.
The Steamers are the hottest team in the league right now and breathing down the Bayside Tigers necks for the top spot in the East. The Steamers are also the highest scoring team in the league as well. Thanks again Nolan for dropping McNabb.
Texans (Greg Shelley) 79 - MC Homer (Michael Cureton) 64
I had to double check the boxscores to make sure MC Homer wasn't Hypnos_tizzed and had players on a bye in their starting lineup. They were active....so to speak. Three players getting zero and only two players even registering double digit scores equals a loss every time. Hey look, a math lesson. Who said sports can't be educational?
The Texans finally got off the schnide with this win led by the Eagles defense. Oh OK their QB did pretty well too, but I'm sure Greg is more proud of his defense right? Anyhow, we'll see if this victory propels the Texans onto a winning streak or if it was just a mirage. Some Texans remember the Alamo, Greg might just remember this win over Homer if he can't get another one.
Sweatpants & Handguns (Kerri Senno) 94 - Flash Greyhounds (Todd Schmerler) 74
Flash was yet another team that had a complete lack of scoring from their entire roster. You aren't going to win any games when your defense scores more than double any other player. At least Todd can feel good about the fact that the team didn't leave any points on the bench, since their entire bench only scored 3 points. Hey at least nobody on the team shot themselves in the leg.
Sweatpants & Handguns managed to win even though they started Trent Edwards at QB. Amazing. They were one of the few teams that had a nice balanced scoring attack, led by 18 points from each of their RBs, "Yo" Adrian Peterson and "Bill" Clinton Portis. I just don't want to know what Portis did with that "victory cigar".
Born A Brave (Daniel Doyle) 127 - Ridemcowgirl1 (Stacey Mickles) 58
I'm sorry, but did anybody else notice that this game was a matchup between Cowboys (or Cowgirls) and Indians (Braves)? Sorry, my mind wanders sometimes. Anyway, BAB stayed atop the West Division with the win. Wait, they even play in the "West"? You just can't make stuff like this up. Anyway, Peyton Manning, Andre Johnson, Nate Burleson and Kellen Winslow all had over 20 points in the win.
Meanwhile, Ridemcowgil1 only had Kyle Orton score over 20 points. As a matter of fact he was the only player in double digits for the team other than their defense. As the second lowest scoring team in the league and currently on a league worst four game losing streak, Ridemcowgirl1 are rumored to be for sale. Hey what a coincidence, I think Rush Limbaugh is looking to buy a team.
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13 comments
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b-dub, that's usually the role played by me...
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Chriso, the fantasy football league may have divisions, but there is no "division" among the playerpress writers. We're all one big happy (disfuntional?) family. Obviously I'm the one everybody is ashamed of.
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b-dub... fantasy football has divisions? thanks nolan....
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Central Sweatpa 4-1-0 DaBares 2-2-1 MCHomer 2-2-1 BoJacks 2-3-0 East Bayside 4-1-0 Clevela 3-2-0 Hypnos_ 2-3-0 Ridemco 1-4-0 West BornBra 4-1-0 FlashGr 2-3-0 PhillyF 2-3-0 Texans 1-4-0
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Chriso, the "standings" are a listing of all of the teams, separated by division and ranked in order of their record. I hold this helps.
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what are the standings?
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Kerri, Trent Edwards shouldn't be anywhere near a fantasy football roster. Hell, he shouldn't be anywhere near an NLF roster. Maybe he could beat out J.P. Losman in the UFL, but that's about it.
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Stop talking about McNabb, I will trade both of you Trent Edwards.
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Ever notice how the server sucks sometimes? Well, sorry about the modified triplicate....
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Yes! B-Dub! I will remember this victory always, or at least until the next one. I was a massive underdog in this one, and despite stinking it up in the early going, I am only one game out of second place in the division. Could my Crabtree pick-up while everyone else was sleeping come back to haunt you all? Probably not, because God knows I have been unable to acquire a decent running back ever since getting to pick 10th in the draft. Defense wins games!
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I'm willing to trade McNabb back to you Nolan. As long as he can REALLY go to your Bears. We'll take Forte and that busty blond from the Urlacher picture. Deal? And MC Homer I hated fantasy football when my team was 0-2. I seem to like it just fine now that I won three in a row.
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<-------- Big fan. Fantastic work Dub. Loved it. Are you beginning to understand why I hate fantasy football?
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Dubster you have outdone yourself. ROTFLMAO! OH and you're right, I want McNabb back!