Enough Gators could eat an elephant, so a horse and rider wouldn’t stand a chance, either. As the season winds down and the Gators get hungrier, let’s take a very careful look at the AP Top 25. And, remember; don’t get off of the boat.

AP TOP 25

1. Alabama: The Tide gets to enjoy home cooking on Thanksgiving and then has some Tigers for desert. They end their season against Auburn on the 29th. Charles Barkley stated that Auburn’s football team sucks, so unless that becomes a motivation, it is safe to say that the Tide will prevail. After the game they can tune into ESPN to find out who they will play for the BCS..

2. Texas Tech: Tech has a prime time match up with Oklahoma on Saturday that will decide their fate. If they make it past the Sooners it would take an Act of God to have them blow it against Baylor. From watching all of those athletes who point to the heavens every time they do their job I know they would disagree, but I don’t think God cares about sports. That said, it is up to the Sooners to make things interesting in the final weeks and open the door for those aforementioned Gators.

3. Florida: The Citadel is the chum that is getting tossed to the Gators on Saturday. That just gives these guys something to do with their mandibles while they hope to take a chunk out of that big glass football.

4. Texas: The Longhorns have dug in like a tick and could benefit from having Texas A&M over for Thanksgiving. While it seems like a neighborly gesture, it could push them into contention for that garish trophy if the required miracles occur.

5. Oklahoma: A win over Texas Tech could make everyone forget that this team has really beaten a string of nobodies all season long. Talk about being in the right place and that right time. Now, they simply have to do the right thing and pull off the upset. Unless they got fat and lazy from beating up on the likes of Washington and Chattanooga, it can be done.

6. Southern California: The Trojans are a model of persistence. Getting more negative press than the Ayatollah they are still hanging out for a major bowl bid. I smell roses, but you never know in the crazy world of college football. Playing Notre Dame on Saturday harkens back to a time when someone would have cared. I can almost picture Keith Jackson getting excited at the prospect and then remembering how awful these teams are at present.

7. Penn State: Things are looking equally rosy for the Nittany Lions. They can prepare for a possible meeting with the Trojans by tuning up on the Spartans.

8. Utah: The Utes will claim State supremacy on Saturday when they beat BYU. Laying claim to a state where hair care products outsell alcohol is of no consequence to me and will likely not sway the polls, either. Probably not for quite the same reason, but even if  drunk no one can claim this team deserves to be anointed champ of anything other than Utah.

9. Boise State: The Broncos will stomp Nevada before giving us one more game to watch at the end of the month against Fresno St. I like Boise St., but there is no Cinderella story this season. They should get a high profile bid, but no dreams of stealing the candy jar.

10. Ohio State: It would have been nice if we could get through the Top 10 before hitting the wannabes. The rivalry game with Michigan will set the Buckeye State atwitter, but the Toilet Bowl is about the best these guys can hope for when it comes to an invitation.

11. Oklahoma State: Imagine if the Sooners knock off Tech and lose to the Cowboys the following week. Oh boy, will confusion reign over the land. I’m thinking that cries for a playoff format will be resounding if that occurs. Rest up Cowboys, you could have a date with destiny.

12. Missouri: In two weeks the Tigers play Kansas and will then petition the NCAA to allow them to play Ohio St in the Blowhard Bowl.

13. Georgia: Ugga asked if I would take him for a long walk on the 29th. He doesn’t want to hang around and watch the season end against Georgia Tech. Ugga’s hope where higher than the Bulldogs performance.

14. Ball State: The Cardinals are removing all computers from the Ball St campus. They hope this will prevent them from ever having to play another Interactive Tuesday game on ESPN. Coach Hoke admitted that he never knew so many people had opinions on how he should run his program. Likewise, he is astonished at how many idiots are capable of using the keypad of their cell phone. He figures that closing against Central Michigan and Western Michigan definitely puts his team’s final games in the “who cares” category.

15. TCU: The Horned Frogs disagree with me and state that God most assuredly loves college football. He will prove that by allowing TCU to smite down Air Force on Saturday.

16. Brigham Young: Because the Mormon Church is undergoing tremendous scrutiny regarding their involvement in the banning of same sex marriages in CA, BYU has asked that this game be postponed. “We’re taking enough crap right now without having to endure an ass kicking.” Coach Mendenhall stated.

17. Michigan State: Someone has to be ranked #17. The Spartans are as good as any other suggestion.

18. LSU: Thank God they made up that game with Troy. Mississippi and Arkansas complete the schedule and the last time I need to mention the Tigers this year.

19. Cincinnati: Tori Amos was once banned from performing in Cincinnati because they claimed that the way she shifted about on the piano stool made it appear that she was masturbating. Cincinnati is a weird city. The Bearcats play Pittsburgh this week and then drag their season into December with two games to follow. To my way of thinking, that appears to be masturbating, but no one is stopping them from performing.

20. Pittsburgh: We know who these guys play on Saturday. Then, just like those Bearcats, they drag us into December to finish against Connecticut. Wow!

21. Oregon State: You could’ve been contenders Beavers, but it just wasn’t your season. Still, the Civil War is coming up at the end of the month and you can go out having roasted the Ducks. Just don’t overlook Arizona on Saturday.

22. Maryland: Like me I am certain you found something better to do than watch the Terrapins beat the Tar Heels. Try to be thusly occupied again this Saturday when they clash with Florida St.

23. Miami (Fla.): The Hurricanes could be evidence that persistence and hard work rewards you with recognition. But, in actuality they are simply proof that anyone can get on this poll.

24. Oregon: While the Ducks wait for their November 29 interstate show down with the Beavers they can contemplate these two things. Why they are on this poll why is Miami ranked above them.

25. North Carolina: Basketball season is upon us. That is good because when I read that the Tar Heels are playing N.C. St. and Duke in that sport I can be interested.

Game to watch: Texas Tech and Oklahoma is the consensus pick. I’m feeling an upset, but I probably just want that to happen to create even more confusion. Anarchy has more constraints than the NCAAF polls.

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