NBA: The Big Shaqtus vs. the Sunshine State

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2009-03-06T15:15:00-05:00

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145 2095 As a young man Shaq graduated from Love Shaq University and traveled to the land of orange juice and old people. There he began to germinate his reputation performing his own brand of wizardry by taking the Magic to the NBA finals. Sitting atop that plateau he was schooled by an old master who refused to let him snatch the pebbles from his hand and vanquished him to try again to reach the pinnacle. The success that eluded him against that old master was realized on the other coast where he teamed with a Zen Master and a younger pupil equally worthy of the wisdom the Master imparted. Eventually the students grew apart and it was best for the large Ronin to return to the state where his NBA quest had begun. Once more he reached the heights only to see the team around him be dashed to the rocks of ignominy and chronic losses. Retreating to a fortress of solitude in the high desert Shaq once again left the land of grapefruits and grandparents. Having tasted the citrus fruit of both franchises, it should have been apparent he couldn’t go back there again without creating a great disturbance.    Shaq goes by many names, but one of the first was The Man of Steel. His adoration of Superman goes beyond the tattoo on his bicep; he has a home full of memorabilia dedicated to the DC Comics character. It is understandable that he might feel upset, perhaps even threatened by a usurper to his throne. Especially when the usurper is younger and lays claim to the nickname that first was adopted by the Big Legendary.   Legendary implies age, few legends are made in the beginning of a career, and Shaq turned 37 this week. While he has been playing some of the most inspired ball of his career, his body has to feel the ravishes of an extended NBA lifespan. When you are 37 it hurts as much to set the screen as it does to run into it. Back to back nights are becoming a rarity for Diesel. On those off nights the attention turns to the younger men who man his position. In some cases, like Dwight Howard and Andrew Bynum, they are being taught by elders of the tribe. Big men who waged the campaigns that Shaq has waged and felt those same ravishes. Shaq learned at the expense of other big men not by having them as mentors.   On Tuesday night the impenetrable force met the immovable object when both guys laying claim to the big red S took the court in Orlando. The city that helps to support the Disney reign of terror is where Shaq began his fabled career. The current coach of the Magic, Stan Van Gundy, manned the wheel on the sinking ship in Miami that Shaq left for the waterless climes of Arizona. This has stuff of legends written all over it.   In a Hollywood ending Shaq probably would have vanquished his younger foe, causing the upstart to look up at the old master and realize he still had much to learn while the wizened center would walk away knowing there was a new gun in town. But, Shaq left Hollywood behind and Arizona has not been the site of happy endings this year. Howard rose to the occasion by compiling 21 points and 8 rebounds. Shaq more than held his own by recording 19 points and 11 rebounds, but two of the points Howard racked up are now the stuff of contentious fury.   As Howard spun to the hoop he bumped Shaq who dropped to the floor while Howard threw it through the basket. Perhaps youth was served and Howard overpowered his older adversary. Or, maybe Shaq flopped hoping to draw a foul. That’s what Van Gundy believed and he stated that after the game. Was it the proper forum for his questioning if Shaq flopped? Was it even important considering his team was on the high side of the 111-99 score? Probably not, but Van Gundy maintained he had confronted Shaq during the game, so maybe he felt he had to right to address it with the press.   Shaq is a proud man and fired back his own salvos. He accused Van Gundy of being a front runner and a coach who panics when the pressure of the playoffs builds. For his part Van Gundy was hurt by those accusations, Shaq has often fired at coaches; just ask Don Nelson and Greg Popovich. In order to psyche himself he has even invented situations. He swears that when he was in high school he was snubbed by David Robinson. It has been proven that Robinson was aboard a naval vessel while Shaq was going through the awkward age of high school, but he makes the claim and used it to motivate himself when facing the Admiral and his First Mate Tim Duncan.   The inevitability of the changing guard is something that Shaq must face on his own. He is a big man, but age humbles us all. Happy Birthday, Shaq. You are still worthy of MVP consideration solely on what you have accomplished with the unraveled ball of yarn you deal with in Phoenix. Finish out your career without injury Big Guy and remember that one day Howard will be staring down the gun of a younger, faster, stronger, bigger foe. It happens to everyone, Shaq of Steel, even to you.   Boston Celtics: Maybe Doc Rivers was angry after the loss to the Clippers. Or, perhaps he was more upset by a team member being arrested on DUI charges hours after losing to the Clippers. Or, he may be trying to test the team chemistry and the leadership skills of Kevin Garnett. Maybe it comes down to his seeking a source for cheap shoes and head tattoos. Whatever the reason Stephon Marbury is a member of the Celtics. That’s right; Starbury is bringing his hefty playoff resume to the defending champions. Can he do for them what he did for the Knicks?   Just remember that the people who are telling you this is a good move on the Celtics part are the same ones who have applauded every move the Suns have made this season, maintain that the Mavericks are an elite team and claim the East is strong. The best impact Marbury can have on the Celtics is none at all. The worse has been made evident by his past. Miki Moore I can understand. He’ll do what he’s told and could provide some bench depth. But why sign Marbury? I thought Boston went to great lengths not to be like New York.   Dallas Mavericks: Some people like Mark Cuban. I am not one of those people. In the beginning I tried, I really did. He played rugby, so I tried to use that as common ground. But, I remembered that there were guys I liked to face because I couldn’t stand them, either. So, that erased any common ground. Cuban is a butt hole. I can’t stand him sitting around courtside dressed down like he is a common man. He’s rich enough to own a NBA team, so the least he can do is dress the part. Likewise, he could try to act the part.  But, like his team he is a whiny baby. This week, instead of crying about the officials or the opponents he threw a hissy fit on his team.   After a loss to the Thunder he threatened to make wholesale changes to his roster. Since he provides these guys with really comfy chairs and game consoles in their clubhouse they took his ranting to heart and went out and beat a diminished Spurs team to win back his love. However, firm is not a quality associated with the Mavericks and they caved last night against the Hornets. Their lack of character was as evident as Republican assistance after Katrina. Rip ‘em another new one, Mark. Obviously it was a long lasting lesson.   On Sunday Jason Kidd reached the 10,000 assist plateau in a game against the Raptors. If he had not been charged with domestic abuse I’d probably be happy for him.   Denver Nuggets: Carmelo Anthony drew a one game suspension for refusing to leave the game when subbed by George Karl. Feeling he had more to give in a losing effort against Indiana he mutinied and paid the price.  He returned for last night’s game against Portland and was instrumental in the Nuggets win. Next time Karl wants him off the floor he should shout “Defense”. That should clear the floor of anyone in a Nuggets uniform.   New York Knicks: Nate Robinson is nursing a bum ankle, but Coach D’Antoni is less than impressed by his attitude. He feels that Nate doesn’t always have the team in mind. It’s hard to believe that a member of the Knicks could be a problem player.   Minnesota Timberwolves: The T-Wolves are offering money back to season ticket holders if they lose their job. There is no promise of letting you off the hook just because they stink.   New Orleans Hornets: Last night the Nola fans were chanting MVP for Chris Paul and they have the right idea. If anyone is carrying a team on his less than NBA sized shoulders it is CP3. Last season he was remarkable, but the rest of the roster entered this season at diminished capacity and have yet to awaken to the fact that they are in a playoff chase. Give the guy some help.   Detroit Pistons: Allen Iverson is shelved with back problems. The undersized attacker is starting to feel the long term effects of sacrificing himself in the land where the big guys roam. In his absence Rip Hamilton has returned to his starting role and the team is once again showing the ephemeral chemistry it possesses from time to time this season. Sensing his future Iverson has stated he is willing to come off the bench when cleared for action. Mike Curry has already stated that is AI’s spot.   The Answer will be wise to grasp this role for the Pistons and whoever he plays for next season. Not only is he not getting younger, he isn’t getting bigger. Too many poundings makes limited court time the correct move. It will allow him to display his slashing ability without taking the extended punishment.   Cleveland Cavaliers: Congrats to the Cavs for being the first team in the Association to secure a playoff berth. Tonight they face the Celtics. When you see Marbury, LeBron, let that be a lesson. Stay away from the Knicks.   San Antonio Spurs: Imagine having enough money to buy out of a contract with a crappy team. That’s what Drew Gooden did when he paid off the Kings to sign with the Spurs. Bank execs should be tutored by Gooden.   ----   Paul Pierce and Chris Wilcox have teamed with singer Rihanna to raise money and try to secure a bone marrow donor for a six year old girl stricken with a deadly form of leukemia. Hopefully they can raise awareness and save the life of Jasmina Anema.   NBA: Imagine if you had someone to lay some cash on you that you could use for whatever you wish. That is what the Association is planning for its franchises. The NBA is seeking to borrow $175M and distribute it to the teams to use as they see fit. Think of all the stupid things the Knicks and Clippers can accomplish with free money. Fiscal responsibility would probably have a longer lasting impact, but it’s damned hard to pass up free cash.   Photo Credit: Jeff Lewis / Icon SMI 0.0.0.0

2009-03-06T15:15:00-05:00

nba-the-big-shaqtus-vs-the-sunshine-state

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NBA: The Big Shaqtus vs. the Sunshine State

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NBA: The Big Shaqtus vs. the Sunshine State

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