B-Dub's Bold Predictions for 2010
Written by B-Dub, Sunday January 31 2010
It's the start of a new year, so I thought it would be a great idea to take a look ahead at the next 12 months. I have decided to make 10 Bold Predictions for the coming year. Then at the end of the year we can look back and you can all tell me what a genius I am. It may be a new year, but I'm the same old B-Dub.
10. The Philadelphia Eagles will do something so damn stupid you won't believe it.
I know this isn't much of a prediction, but keep in mind that this is a team that fired a female employee for having cancer, fired another handicapped employee for criticizing the team on his own Facebook page, let fan-favorite Brian Dawkins go over a few bucks, continue to make us watch Donovan McNabb and actually gave Andy "11 years without a Championship" Reid a contract extension. I for one can't wait to see what they come up with next.
9. Soccer fans will predict that their sport will take over America.
Oh like I haven't heard this bullshit before. Every few years, the World Cup (some soccer tournament that under-developed third world countries actually care about) comes around and the soccer fans proclaim that soccer will finally become popular in America. Uh, no it won't.
8. Brett Favre will retire and then reconsider.
Yeah, I know this one is a slam-dunk, but it has to be on the list. I enjoy watching Favre as a player, but I can't stand the "man-love" the national broadcasters have for him. It was once just John Madden who made a fool of himself. Now it's basically every network broadcaster, especially the ones at ESPN. That's why I wanted him to win the Super Bowl this season. I figured if he won, he would finally go away. Now there is no chance he retires, or stays retired, with that interception being his last pass. Get ready for the Soap Opera to begin again.
7. The National Spelling Bee will have better ratings than the NHL Finals when they go head-to-head.
Wow, this might be the Wussiest bunch of predictions ever. So far, I'm just stating obvious things that have a 100% chance of becoming reality. Nobody cares about the NHL, as evidenced by their complete lack of ratings or even a national TV contract other than the pathetic Versus. I was unable to confirm the ratings from 3 years ago, but I do know that the Spelling Bee beat the NHL Finals in the ratings, when they were on at the same time, the last two years in a row. Make it a "Three-Peat". If Pat Riley wants to be paid for that copyrighted phrase he can go after Playerpress. (Editor's note: Playerpress.com does not endorse, or even like, any of the opinions expressed by B-Dub. He's on his own if anybody decided to sue.)
6. The Philadelphia Phillies and New York Yankees will meet in the World Series...Again.
This will be the first World Series rematch since the Yankees beat the L.A. Dodgers in 1977 and again in 1978. The difference is, this time the Yankees won't win the rematch. The Phillies won't let their closer situation be a complete disaster two years in a row and Cole Hamels can't possibly be any worse. The Yankees are only getting older though. Chase Utley finally wins the NL MVP. Call your bookie now and thank me later.
5. The BCS is Going Down
The Justice Department announced that they will investigate the legality of the BCS. Apparently there is some question as to whether or not the BCS violates antitrust laws. And the Federal Trade Commission is going to review the legality of the BCS under consumer protection laws. This is good news. Those of you who think the federal government should have better things to do than get involved in college football are dopes. You're probably the same people who said that the government shouldn't get involved in investigating steroids in baseball. Well you know what, when Congress called baseball on the carpet, we finally got some answers and things changed for the better. Now maybe they'll get a playoff system in college football. Anything is better than the current BCS setup.
4. NBC will lose a ton of money on the Olympics
This one isn't really that earth-shattering of a prediction, but it does prove that real sports fans in America don't care about this crap. The only thing that will get ratings is the figure skating and that's because women love it. The main reason Americans don't care much about the Winter Olympics is that we never do well in them. Sad, but true. I won't watch, but I'll be paying attention to a few of the athletes after the Games. Specifically I'll wait to see if skier Lindsay Vonn and especially speedskater Allison Baver take Hugh Hefner up on his offer for them to pose in Playboy. If you don't think Hugh makes them an offer, just Google Allison Baver.
3. NFL Players are about to get smacked upside the head by reality.
Oh if only all NFL players saw my articles, they would have known months ago that if there is no new NFL labor pact, the "uncapped" year in 2010 will actually be a bad thing for them. Assuming there is no new Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the Players Union, 2010 will be a year without a salary cap. Unfortunately for players, it will also be a year without a salary floor. How little do you think teams like the Bengals will spend if they aren't forced to spend a minimum amount on player salaries? Think Florida Marlins or Pittsburgh Pirates in MLB.
If that's not bad enough how about the fact that without a new pact, players will now have to reach six years of NFL service time before they reach unrestricted free agent status, instead of the four years it is under the current agreement. I have read that this affects over 200 players. Ouch!
Still not enough proof? How about the fact that the Final Four teams (Colts, Jets, Saints and Vikings) will be restricted in the number of free agents they can sign. In effect, these four teams can only sign a free agent if they lose a free agent. And even then, the salaries will have to be comparable. It sounds as bad as the NBA's salary cap system.
And finally, if the players strike or the owners lock the players out to force a new pact, the players will ultimately lose. History has shown us that players are short-sighted and greedy. They don't care about anything but getting paid now. Don't forget that it was the Scumbag Dallas Cowboys players like Danny White, Tony Dorsett, Ed "Too Tall" Jones and Randy White, who were the first ones to cross the picket lines during the 1987 strike and cause the players union to crumble.
2. Tiger Woods will return to the PGA Tour
I still don't consider golf a real sport and I think the absolute disappearance of golf in Wood's absence proves that point. But you don't really think Woods is going to "work on saving his marriage" for much longer do you? HA! His wife is taking the payday and retiring to her own private island in Sweden. Not a bad pay-off for being nothing but a Marketing tool for the worlds biggest athlete for a few years. Tiger will go back to playing eighteen holes.....on and off the course.
1. A new reality show will captivate the nation.
Speaking of Tiger's off course activities, I can guarantee you that some network like MTV, VH1, Bravo or E! is already trying to round up all the women Tiger "bagged" for a reality show. Seriously, these whores are just dying to milk their 15 minutes of fame for all it's worth now that they don't have Tiger to support them. Just put them in a house together, turn on the cameras and watch the whiskers fly during all the catfights. It's ratings gold. The only thing that the producers will even need to do is figure out what to call it. As usual, I'm here to help. How about: "Tiger's Favorite Hole"? "House Full-O-Whores"? "Tiger's Hole-In-One"? "Tiger's Temptresses"? "Fore Whores"?
The Justice Department announced that they will investigate the legality of the BCS. Apparently there is some question as to whether or not the BCS violates antitrust laws. And the Federal Trade Commission is going to review the legality of the BCS under consumer protection laws. This is good news. Those of you who think the federal government should have better things to do than get involved in college football are dopes. You're probably the same people who said that the government shouldn't get involved in investigating steroids in baseball. Well you know what, when Congress called baseball on the carpet, we finally got some answers and things changed for the better. Now maybe they'll get a playoff system in college football. Anything is better than the current BCS setup.
4. NBC will lose a ton of money on the Olympics
This one isn't really that earth-shattering of a prediction, but it does prove that real sports fans in America don't care about this crap. The only thing that will get ratings is the figure skating and that's because women love it. The main reason Americans don't care much about the Winter Olympics is that we never do well in them. Sad, but true. I won't watch, but I'll be paying attention to a few of the athletes after the Games. Specifically I'll wait to see if skier Lindsay Vonn and especially speedskater Allison Baver take Hugh Hefner up on his offer for them to pose in Playboy. If you don't think Hugh makes them an offer, just Google Allison Baver.
3. NFL Players are about to get smacked upside the head by reality.
Oh if only all NFL players saw my articles, they would have known months ago that if there is no new NFL labor pact, the "uncapped" year in 2010 will actually be a bad thing for them. Assuming there is no new Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the Players Union, 2010 will be a year without a salary cap. Unfortunately for players, it will also be a year without a salary floor. How little do you think teams like the Bengals will spend if they aren't forced to spend a minimum amount on player salaries? Think Florida Marlins or Pittsburgh Pirates in MLB.
If that's not bad enough how about the fact that without a new pact, players will now have to reach six years of NFL service time before they reach unrestricted free agent status, instead of the four years it is under the current agreement. I have read that this affects over 200 players. Ouch!
Still not enough proof? How about the fact that the Final Four teams (Colts, Jets, Saints and Vikings) will be restricted in the number of free agents they can sign. In effect, these four teams can only sign a free agent if they lose a free agent. And even then, the salaries will have to be comparable. It sounds as bad as the NBA's salary cap system.
And finally, if the players strike or the owners lock the players out to force a new pact, the players will ultimately lose. History has shown us that players are short-sighted and greedy. They don't care about anything but getting paid now. Don't forget that it was the Scumbag Dallas Cowboys players like Danny White, Tony Dorsett, Ed "Too Tall" Jones and Randy White, who were the first ones to cross the picket lines during the 1987 strike and cause the players union to crumble.
2. Tiger Woods will return to the PGA Tour
I still don't consider golf a real sport and I think the absolute disappearance of golf in Wood's absence proves that point. But you don't really think Woods is going to "work on saving his marriage" for much longer do you? HA! His wife is taking the payday and retiring to her own private island in Sweden. Not a bad pay-off for being nothing but a Marketing tool for the worlds biggest athlete for a few years. Tiger will go back to playing eighteen holes.....on and off the course.
1. A new reality show will captivate the nation.
Speaking of Tiger's off course activities, I can guarantee you that some network like MTV, VH1, Bravo or E! is already trying to round up all the women Tiger "bagged" for a reality show. Seriously, these whores are just dying to milk their 15 minutes of fame for all it's worth now that they don't have Tiger to support them. Just put them in a house together, turn on the cameras and watch the whiskers fly during all the catfights. It's ratings gold. The only thing that the producers will even need to do is figure out what to call it. As usual, I'm here to help. How about: "Tiger's Favorite Hole"? "House Full-O-Whores"? "Tiger's Hole-In-One"? "Tiger's Temptresses"? "Fore Whores"?
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2 comments
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We'll see about your Red Sox Chriso. There are a few great tams in the AL, but the Phils are the class of the NL by far. There won't be a work stoppage in the NFL after the players see what this uncapped year is REALLY going to do to the wallets of 99.9% of the players. Tons of cheap owners out there.
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Red Sox take it from the over the hill yankees, then we can talk world series with your phillies.... you think the bengals need to be worried, how about the jaguars