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B-Dub and Donovan McNabb: The Black & Blue Brothers

B-Dub Written by B-Dub, Friday January 22 2010
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Yes, it's true.  I now share a special bond with Philadelphia Eagles QB Donovan McNabb.  No, I haven't recently thrown up on the field at Alltel Stadium in Jacksonville.  What I did do was have the same Sports Hernia surgery that McNabb had a few years ago.  I was even operated on by the same surgeon.



Well that part isn't so unusual, since Dr. William Myers is the surgeon who does all of the sports hernia surgeries on athletes, like McNabb and me.  Myers is a Philadelphia surgeon who discovered this injury and developed the procedure to repair it.  That's the reason you've only heard about this injury in the last ten years or so.  It's also a bit misnamed, since it isn't a hernia at all.

The injury is actually the tearing away of the muscles in your lower abdomen from the pubic bone.  In my case, Dr. Myers said that it was a significant tear.  This is not surprising since I go all out in my sporting endeavors. 

While my wife and family insist that I got hurt because I'm old, I disagree.  It's a "sports" hernia, so that means I'm an athlete right?  While I do write about professional sports I do not actually play them.  I was actually injured playing beer-league softball.  Yes, like I said, I'm a world-class athlete.  It takes a special talent to be able to do 12-ounce curls while playing sports.  Don't try this at home kids.

So as I write this, two days after the surgery, I am still in a considerable amount of pain.  That and the percocet might explain if this article is actually nothing but gibberish.  Yes, yes.  Please insert your own joke here about how you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.  You're a riot.

The recovery time for this surgery is weeks, not months.  I was instructed to walk a mile a day starting the day after the surgery.  Maybe in a few days I'll be able to break the one hour mile.  The physical therapy will begin next week, with a message therapist.  No mention of a "Happy Ending" was made, so I assume it's legit.  And according to the doctor, I will be back playing my sport within 4-6 weeks.

Since my "sport" isn't professional, I don't exactly have to rush myself back.  But I did need to get this surgery so that I could go back to a normal life.  This injury prevented me from playing sports with my kids and coaching their teams, like I used to.  Now that I've had the surgery everything will be back to normal.  Or will it?

Since I now share this procedure with Donovan McNabb, will I suddenly start throwing the ball at my son's feet when we are having a catch?  When that happens, will I throw him under the bus by blaming the incompletion on him?  Will I blame it on his "youth"?  Will I then deny that I said anything negative about him and hold a grudge for years against the people who said that about me?  Will I then say that I do not hold grudges, even as I am speaking about the many grudges that I am holding?  Will I refer to it as "white-on-white" crime?  Will I pout and demand that everyone refer to me as the leader of the team, I mean family?  Will I make stupid faces and smile at completely inappropriate times?  Will I constantly look like I have an itch on my nose or have to pick a booger every time I talk to a group of people?  Will I inexplicably break into an air-guitar show and completely embarrass those around me?  Will I begin to gag any time I am near any type of Bowl?  

Only time will tell the answers to those questions, but there is one thing I am certain of.  No matter how many times a doctor tells you that it is normal, there is nothing normal about your "Twig and Berries" turning black and blue.  That's something that Donovan McNabb and I can both agree on.  


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8 comments


0 up down 0
B-DubB-Dub, over 2 years ago said:

Wait a minute IrishEagle. Are you telling me that it's not normal for the UPS and FedEx guys to be making deliveries to my house numerous times a day every day? The next thing you'll try to tell me is that mailmen don't deliver the mail inside the house anymore.

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IrishEagleIrishEagle, over 2 years ago said:

Yes, all kinds of bad things will happen to you now B-Dub. McNabb and Kevin Curtis were never right after that surgery and you will be no different. Tell your dear wife that she might have to put more men on the job around the house too...

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B-DubB-Dub, over 2 years ago said:

Yeah obviously you need to learn how to read jzanine. You didn't have the same surgery I did. You had a regular hernia surgery, which isn't as invasive as what I had. If you were a finely-tuned athlete like Donovan McNabb and me, you would understand these things.

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jzaninejzanine, over 2 years ago said:

B-Dub you poor baby. Should I get your kotex?:) I had the same surgery two years ago and I went back to work the next day. I ran broad street 10 weeks later. Suck it up, the first three days are the hardest and within two weeks you are able to get around just fine. See you Super Bowl Sunday.

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RonRon, over 2 years ago said:

B-Dub, I echo Nolan's comments! This article is a classic! Especially the 2nd to last paragraph. Good job even under the influence of percocet.

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ChrisoChriso, over 2 years ago said:

and i was just thinking it was quiet around here the last few days...

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B-DubB-Dub, over 2 years ago said:

Nolan, NOTHING about me is fast and speedy right now. It LITERALLY took me over an hour to walk a mile today. I actually got passed by a couple of senior citizens. I think I heard them laughing too.

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Nolan ThomasNolan Thomas, over 2 years ago said:

Dubster, you crack me up. But regardless of that, I wish you a fast and speedy recovery.