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ESPN-Extremely Stupid People Network

Nolan Thomas Written by Nolan Thomas, Saturday April 11 2009
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I do not know about all of you, but the reporters at ESPN come across to me as extremely ignorant, unprepared, and have the tendency to speak before they think or know the facts.

 

From year to year, I constantly hear them change their tunes and totally contradict themselves in order for them to cover their butts and sound good in their own minds.

 

I am sure that some you, mostly fans of east coast teams such as the Patriots, Giants, Jets, and Eagles love ESPN. That is because they never say anything bad about those teams. ESPN is so partial to east coast teams; they would not be caught dead saying anything negative about them.

 

However, the one team they seem to despise more then any other seems to be the Chicago Bears. For some reason, it seems as if they live just to bash the Bears. This is not a recent trend either. It goes back for years.

 

For example, one particular reporter, who is an ex-NFL player, and whose name I will not mention in order to avoid a defamation of character suit, contradicts himself left and right when it comes to the Bears.

 

During the Bears Super Bowl year of 2006, this particular analyst picked the Bears to lose every week up until week 7 of the season. The Bears were 6-0 at that point. In addition, after every Bears win, he reported mostly that the other teams had a bad week, that their defense was not up to par that week or their offense did not execute up their normal potential. Nothing was said about the Bears excellent defense effort, or the offense putting up 35 points. It was not the Bears who won the game, but their opponents who lost the game.

 

That same year, in the playoffs, every single one of ESPN’s analysts picked Seattle to win against the Bears. The Bears won in overtime with a Robbie Gould field goal. There was no mention of how the Bears pulled it out, just how the Seahawks blew the game.

 

The next week, again, they all picked the Bears to lose against the Saints. In addition, both of these games were Bears home games at Soldiers Field. The Bears proved them all wrong once again, and beat the Saints handily. Did ESPN talk about how well the Bears played in the game? Heck no, they talked about how Drew Brees was not himself and that if the game was in New Orleans, the Saints would have easily won the game.

 

When the Bears lost the Super Bowl to ESPN’s second favorite quarterback, Tom Brady being the first, Payton Manning, they were all like kids in a candy store, all ranting and raving about how they were right all along, and that the Bears did not deserve to be there.

 

 In 2007, after a disappointing and dismal 7-9 season for the Bears, they all said the Bears had no quarterback. They bashed Rex Grossman, they bashed Kyle Orton and you could tell, they took great pleasure in doing do.

 

They all said that the Bears had to pick a quarterback in the draft, in the first round, second round at the latest. After the draft was over and the Bears did not take a quarterback in any round, the Bears were imbeciles, stupid and have no idea how to build a football team. Matt Forte in the second round was a wasted pick, he came from a small school and even though he had excellent college statistics, they said he would probably not transcend well into the NFL. Wrong again ESPN!

 

They talked about how Kyle Orton was nothing more then a game manager quarterback and that he would never amount to a quality starter in this league, just a back up quarterback at best. The Bears needed a quarterback and they did not draft one. It was a big mistake, and it had to be, ESPN said so.

 

Let us move forward to this year. The Bears pull off the shocker of the year and acquire Jay Cutler from the Denver Broncos. A franchise quarterback! Here are the Bears, who nobody at ESPN said had any chance at all in the Cutler Derby. But low and behold, the Bears pull it off and Culter is a Bear! Was it a great move by the Bears? Not according to ESPN.

 

Now all of a sudden, Kyle Orton, who went to the Broncos in the trade, and who ESPN said just a year ago would never amount to anything more then a backup in the NFL, is being built up by ESPN as if he were a pro bowl quarterback. Moreover, the actual pro bowl quarterback in Jay Cutler, is being shot down by ESPN as nothing more then mediocre. Unbelievable!

 

Of course if Cutler had gone to the Jets or the Redskins instead of the Bears, it would have been the pick up of the century and all but guaranteed that team would be in the Super Bowl this season according to ESPN. But no, it was the Bears, so it was bad trade for them and Cutler.

 

Going back to this ex NFL’er analyst whose name I will not mention, says Cutler will not succeed in Chicago because Brandon Lloyd and Rashied Davis are not quality starting receivers. I agree with that statement. The only problem is that Lloyd is no longer on the Bears, and Davis never was a starter and never will be. Way to do your homework nimrod! Just another way for this particular ESPN reporter to make himself sound intelligent. However, to Bears fans that know the real story, he just sounded stupid and ignorant.

 

Even on the ESPN website today, they have a poll asking the question “What has been the best move of the NFL offseason so far?”

 

Would you believe that the Cutler trade to the Bears is not even one of the answers? The Blockbuster trade of the decade in the NFL with the Bears getting a franchise quarterback and it is not even mentioned. The first franchise quarterback on the Bears since Sid Luckman over 70 years ago. Once again, I would bet a years salary that if an east coast team picked him up instead of the Bears, not only would it be listed on the poll, it would be listed first.

 

By the way, here are the answers that were listed in that particular poll. And to no surprise, three out the five answers concern an east coast team.

 

a) Giants release Plaxico Burress

 

b) Chiefs trade for Matt Cassell

 

c) Kurt Warner re-signs with Cardinals

 

d) Buccaneers dismiss Jon Gruden and Bruce Allen

 

e) Ray Lewis stays with Ravens

 

Yet on another ESPN website poll, the question is asked, “What has been the worst move of the NFL offseason so far?”

 

Guess what the top answer listed is. Yep, you guessed it! “Broncos trade Jay Cutler to Bears!”  So according to ESPN, it is bad for the Broncos AND bad for the Bears.

 

 

ESPN, you have got to be kidding me!


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24 comments


0 up down 0
B-DubB-Dub, over 3 years ago said:

Benn & Nolan, I think this is how the American Revolution started. I get to be Ben Franklin though. Not only was he a notorious Ladies Man, but he once said, "Beer is proof that there is a God and he loves us." That then inspired Homer Simpson to say, "Mmmmmmmmmm, Beeeeeeeeeer."

0 up down 0
Nolan ThomasNolan Thomas, over 3 years ago said:

B-Dub, you're right, they do bash Eagles fans, but they love the team. Benn, I'm with you, I'd love to take them down!

0 up down 0
Benn HodappBenn Hodapp, over 3 years ago said:

Have you listened to Jalen Rose do basketball coverage? Listen to him for 5 seconds and tell me he isn't legally retarded. Everyone on ESPN is there because they're loud. Idiots, all of them. We need to take them down!!! I'll lead the way -- who's comin' with me?

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B-DubB-Dub, over 3 years ago said:

Nolan, I agree that ESPN sucks, but while the Douchebags there kiss certain teams' asses, they HATE the Eagles fans. They never miss an opportunity to bring up how we Booed McNabb at the draft, Booed Santa Claus...Blah, Blah, Blah. Berman is the biggest hypocrite since he's a Jets fan. The Jets fans boo every single draft pick ever made. Michael Irvin was the all-time worst. He must have thought his stupid points would make sense if he shouted them. And Emmitt Smith's butchery of the English language was legendary.

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Tyler JuranovichTyler Juranovich, over 3 years ago said:

I really agree with you on this. Espn analysts are very biased and most of what they say is very wrong and stupid.

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PtownpadrePtownpadre, over 3 years ago said:

NFL Live is my least favorite program of all time. I can't stand it. Every day is a different mock draft. And they're bitter. Sunday Night Baseball is enjoyable when Joe Morgan stops talking. Baseball Tonight now looks pretty weak compared to MLB Network. But I gotta say I love the live SportsCenter. And I like how they have that feature so you know what's coming up next. And Hannah Storm? Forget about it. Worth the price of admission. Live Sports and Live SportsCenter. Everything else is useless.

0 up down 0
Benn HodappBenn Hodapp, over 3 years ago said:

ESPN has been stupid for a long time. I have mentioned it several times in my own articles, but apparently people only read your stuff, Nolan. Haha. I didn't see the Schlereth rant in question (mainly because I avoid ESPN like the plague), but when you employ people like Stuart Scott, Steven A. Smith and Skip Bayless you are ripe for parody. P.S. - I believe where the Bears play is called Soldier Field, rather than Soldiers Field. Nice article, man.

0 up down 0
DanDan, over 3 years ago said:

Did anyone else notice how bitter and angry said "unnamed" ESPN analyst sounded talking about Cutler going to the Bears and how horrible the O-line is because the Bears lost their 2 starting tackles and Jay would be looking up from the ground wondering why he was in Chicago... haha yeah cause we lost Joe Thomas and Jake Long right? Oh wait didnt we lose John St. Claire... the career backup and John Tait who was too old and slow for the game? I mean both were hard workers and I respect the guys service to the Bears, but they were not high quality NFL OTs... Now the Bears have Orlando Pace, Kevin Schaffer, and Chris Williams at tackle, 2 new OGs in Frank Omiyale and Dan Buenning from a trade last year, and a promising 3rd year OG in Beekman. Where was the analysis of these guys and our O-line before it he concluded it was "horrible" and Jay was going to be unprotected?

0 up down 0
sportsmouthsportsmouth, over 3 years ago said:

great article nolan.

0 up down 0
Nolan ThomasNolan Thomas, over 3 years ago said:

Thanks for all of the responses. Sorry about the typo on defamation, it was 4:00 in the morning when I wrote it. But thanks for pointing it out. It has been corrected. I will still take a typo over some of the stupid stuff that ESPN does.

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scottscott, over 3 years ago said:

I believe it's ESPN's strategy to talk as much crap about the bears in order to get better ratings from Chicagoans.

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kgkg, over 3 years ago said:

ESPN just flat out sucks. Great article and so true. Lets see what ESPN has to say this year when the Bears hit the playoffs and win the bowl.

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bcbc, over 3 years ago said:

i think you mean defamation of character. When discussing how stupid people are, you should be a little more careful

0 up down 0
MC HomerMC Homer, over 3 years ago said:

Love the article, couldn't agree more. Everyone knows about this east coast bias, maybe that's why Sportscenter is moving the LA, it will still hate on the 'Best Coast' but at least they can say they are here. Sports has gotten just as bad as politics, big business runs everything. By the way, you will never have a 'deformation of character' lawsuit filed against you, no matter what you say, mainly because it is 'defamation.' Sorry, I hate to be nitpicky, but in an article about 'stupid' people, it may be wise to proofread your article before posting, I know everyone makes mistakes, but again, the 'stupid people' article... I'm not cuttin' on you, just some constructive criticism.

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Flash GreyhoundFlash Greyhound, over 3 years ago said:

Amen! But I'm a Giants fan on the East Coast and I still despise ESPN. It's for teenagers who love to watch dunks...Jeez, does the Top 10 plays have to have 5 dunks every day? Do you know how easy it is for those guys to dunk a basketball? If there were any alternative I would watch it, but the best (only good?) thing about SportsCenter is you can catch it at any time of the morning.

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liz roccaliz rocca, over 3 years ago said:

I like fried eggs.

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brian banbrian ban, over 3 years ago said:

Reading this article makes me have to go the bathroom.

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paolo roccapaolo rocca, over 3 years ago said:

not one of my buddies still watches sportscenter. it is the sports version of a newspaper. total waste of time. i agree though, espn is total east coast sports. and they do bash the bears as well as few other teams. their announcers blow but it is a disney channel so what do you expect? total garbage

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KarimKarim, over 3 years ago said:

Don't forget that same moron stated we gave up our entire draft for Cutler, yet we have a 2,3,4,(2)5,6,couple of 7's,... basically our trade value would equal the 5th overrall pick, yeah, way to much for a 25 year old franchise QB, who after his 3rd year put up 4500 yards and mad a pro bowl

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RDubRDub, over 3 years ago said:

ESPN has been horrible for many years and is almost unwatchable for Sportscenter, Baseball tonight, NFL Live, etc. The bias is laughable so if you do not like-----boycott!