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Redskins Isn't the Only Offensive Name in Sports
Redskins Isn't the Only Offensive Name in Sports
Bob Whalon | 08/06/14 | 10:28 PM EDT 0 Comments
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The latest pompous, arrogant, hypocrite to jump on the Politically Correct bandwagon is Democratic Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley, who thinks it's about time the Washington Redskins change their name.
I'm sure the esteemed governor is thinking only of the plight of Native Americans and not just trying to get his name in the news for a possible presidential run.  Or not.

Anyway, it got me thinking about all the other teams out there that should change their name if one person on the planet might possibly be offended by their name.  Let's take a look at the long list of teams, shall we?

If Redskins is offensive, then the Cleveland Indians, Atlanta Braves and Kansas City Chiefs have to change their name too.  After all, they're called "Native Americans" and anything else would be considered offensive, right?  And don't even get me started on that horrible "Tomahawk Chop" thing they do in Atlanta.

The National Organization of Women has a few teams on their hit list.  The Dallas Cowboys, Buffalo Bills, Indianapolis Colts (male horse) and Minnesota Vikings (What, no Queens?) are all just sexist bastards.

All non-Catholics out there are eternally offended by the New Orleans Saints, Arizona Cardinals, San Diego Padres Los Angeles Angels and St. Louis Cardinals.  Separation of Church and state, remember?

Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are organizing rallies as we speak, because they don't like the possible implications of the name Browns.  Watch out Cleveland.

Democrats who oppose The Patriot Act are insisting that New England change their name immediately.

The hypocrites on the Religious Right don't like the double entendre meaning of the Green Bay Packers.  Think of the children.

Neither side of the political spectrum is happy with the Chicago Bears.  The right is offended by the implied nudity, while the left is offend by the close associate by the "Right to bear arms".  Nobody wins in the Windy City with that name.

Law enforcement nation-wide is unhappy about the Pittsburgh Steelers, since most Americans can't spell and could be easily confused.  Is the NFL encouraging fans to break the law by stealing?  Better safe than sorry, so it's gotta change.

The teacher's unions aren't happy with the Oakland A's.  That name discriminates against the students that aren't smart enough to get straight A's, so it's a slap in the face of the underprivileged.

An Amish guy in Lancaster, PA is offended by the San Diego Chargers name and it just takes one complaint these days.  Hey San Diego, how about the San Diego Butter Churns?  The Barn Raisers?  No?  I'll consult old Jebidiah in Lancaster and get back to you with a few more suggestions.

The Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox and Cincinnati Reds better just get out in front of this thing while they can and make a proactive name change.  How long before somebody is offended by one of those colors?

The Kansas City Royals should know better.  Every American should be offended by a team named after the very people we fought against to gain our independence.  'Merica.

The Devil Worshipers are mad as heck about the Tampa Bay Rays decision a few years ago to drop the "Devil" from their name.  They want it back now, darn it.

Mothers Against Drunk Drivers can't even believe the Milwaukee Brewers don't understand how wrong their name is.  Change it now, before they really get M.A.D.D.

The New York Giants and San Francisco Giants?  All the "Little People" out there are very, very disappointed with you.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are in trouble because all those advocates for the poor think a dollar for an ear of corn is just too darn expensive.  The San Francisco 49'ers are probably safe, though.

The Philadelphia Eagles are lucky that the bald Eagle was taken off the endangered species list back in August of 2007 or PETA would have been all over them.  They already had enough trouble with that whole Michael Vick fiasco.

Speaking of PETA, a lady in Idaho was watching the Wizard of Oz last night and saw the Cowardly Lion try to bite Toto.  Sorry Detroit, maybe you can change your team name to the Tin Men.

Well, that's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure there is somebody out there who can think of a reason that Yankees offends them.  Come to think of it, I'm offended by the fact that I can't think of a reason to be offended by New York's team name, so goodbye Yankees.  Good luck trying to find a dumber name then the Metropolitans.

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